Ties and Food

Our first day in Louisville found us eating lunch at that gourmet restaurant near the Convention Center, Taco Bell. I was supposed to be at the SBC Executive Board meeting at 2:00, which was at a hotel near the Convention Center. So naturally I had donned my "best" duds, which was completely appropriate for a place as swanky as Taco Bell.
There is nothing I hate more than the monkey suits that some people insist is the "proper attire" in order to look "professional." I'm sorry, I was raised on a farm. Shirts should not have the top button fastened - it restricts the blood flow to the brain. Dress shoes for men come in only two styles - ugly and uglier. When will wingtips ever go out of fashion? And wearing a suit coat over that stiff dress shirt in Kentucky on a 95-degree day is a sure sign that you know how to stay comfortable!
I almost forgot to mention my favorite part of the suit - the necktie. I hate ties with a passion. Who is the idiot that decided it was cool to wrap a skinny piece of bright-colored cloth around your neck and tie a knot in it up against your jugular? And how is that supposed to improve your IQ? I'm sorry, but sliding a noose around your neck and tightening it is not the sign of a high IQ!
Neckties are always in the way. Have you ever noticed that? It hangs down from your neck and is always where it shouldn't be. Wash your hands in the sink and it gets in the water. Sit down for a meal and its magnetic pull is attracted to your plate. I don't care what you are doing, it is always in the way.
I ordered my exquisite meal, the Burrito Supreme Combo meal - also known as the #1. As I sat down, I was very careful to make sure my noose was not getting into my food. It tried to, but with a little maneuvering I was able to coax it to stay out of my burrito. We said our prayers and began to enjoy (?) our meals.
As we ate, I forgot that tie magnets work two ways. While I ably maneuvered my tie to prevent its magnetism from bringing it into contact with my food, I forgot the other Law of Tie Magnetism. About half-way through my burrito, the tie magnet coaxed a glob of sour cream out of the burrito and smack dab into the middle of my tie. Did I mention that I hate ties?
Growling at the stupid tie, I went into the bathroom to try to clean it off. Using the tricks I learned from wearing "professional" attire for too many years, I used my handkerchief soaked in cold water to extract as much sour cream from the tie as possible. It looked a little better, but will carry the stain to the tie graveyard.
We are often like that tie. We try our best to avoid being stained with sin. But, like a magnet, sin is attracted to us - or vice-versa. Romans 3:25 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." If we compare ourselves to other people, we may think we are pretty good people. But when we compare ourselves to Jesus, we find we are terribly stained. We can try to wash the stain off using good works, but the stain is still there. It is only by the blood of Christ that the stain is forever cleaned off. Do you want to be freed from the stain of sin? Go here to find out how. You can be cleansed and stay clean forever!