Wake Up!!!

Last Wednesday, the Mrs. received a phone call from one of Mr. Youngster's fellow band members.  He shared with her the plans the band members had for Mr. Youngster on Homecoming morning.  The drumline has a tradition that includes a surprise or two for the sophomores on Homecoming Friday.  We were instructed to leave a door unlocked.  The Mrs. had a better idea - they could call her cell phone before arriving and she would go open the door for them.

The cell phone rang bright and early at 4:45 on Friday morning.  The Mrs. got up, threw on a robe, and went running down the stairs to open the door.  Standing at the door were 15 little drummer boys (without drums) from the high school band, all wearing various styles of black and red clothing, painted faces, and smiles.  They paraded into the house in a seemingly endless stream of black and red, and headed straight for Mr. Youngster's room.  They quietly circled his bed, then on cue began yelling at him to get up - that he was going to be late.  They shook his bed as they yelled.  They blew an airhorn (thank you very much).   They made enough noise to raise the dead.  It worked - the dead finally arose from his bed and was soon getting dressed.  The little drummer boys provided him with a t-shirt - about three sizes too small and painted up with a Homecoming message.  As he got dressed, the little drummer boys continued to scream at him, "Hurry up!"  Ten minutes after the phone call, he was headed out the door to pick up more little drummer boys and then to Perkins for breakfast, where the seniors bought his meal.

After school on Friday night, I asked Mr. Youngster what he thought when he saw all those guys standing in his room yelling at him.  He said when he first opened his eyes, everything looked pretty blurry, so he thought it was a dream. But then, as he blinked the sleep from his eyes, he realized it wasn't a dream - but he was very confused about it.  He hardly had time to get dressed and out the door.  All in all, I am certain he enjoyed it!  I think the Mrs. enjoyed it more than he did!  I, on the other hand, attempted to enjoy my sleep - but was unable to because of all the ruckus.

Romans 13:11 challenges us when it says, "The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed."  Mr. Youngster had to awaken from his slumber to participate in the fun Homecoming activities .  Jesus is going to return.  While most of the world is spiritually deaf to this fact, there is no excuse for the Christian.  The next verse tells us, "The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light."  Let's wake up, clean up, and focus on living for Christ.  The King is Coming!  And it will be a day filled with joy for all who are spiritually awake!

The Perfect (?) Wedding

I always warn the bride and groom in the weddings I perform that something is going to go wrong during the ceremony.  They have two choices on how to handle it:  they can get irritated and let it ruin their special day, or they can enjoy it, knowing they will laugh about it in the future. This is very difficult for some people, because they want the "perfect wedding."  They go to great lengths to plan and ensure there are no problems during the ceremony.  But one of the "high-risk areas for unplanned activities" centers on the children in the wedding party.  Children tend to be very unpredictable - especially young children.

We traveled down to Missouri this past weekend to see my nephew get married.   They were married in a small rural town in a beautiful brick church built in1913 (according to the cornerstone).  The church is full of oak woodwork, hardwood floors, oak pews, stained glass windows - a fantastic setting for a wedding!  The ceremony was pretty normal, but as I noted above, there is always something that doesn't go according to plan.

Knowing the history of little children in weddings, I watched the flower girl and ring bearer with great interest.  The flower girl did a great job.  She walked up the aisle with the ring bearer without any hesitation.  It was really cute when she stopped to pick up a rose petal that had fallen out of her basket!  Everyone smiled at her as she stooped to pick it up.

The ring bearer, however, was a typical 3 year-old boy.  He was doing fine until he made it up to the front of the church.  But there was no way he was going to quietly stand up there during the entire ceremony!  Little boys are designed to be in a constant state of motion, and this little guy was no exception.  Within a few minutes of arriving at the front of the church, he "escaped" and began stomping on those beautiful hardwood floors - which created a really nice echo throughout the church.  The bride hesitated at the back of the church to allow them time to corral him, but it didn't work.  Once the boy realized everyone was watching him, it was time to put on a show!  He stomped, he circled the wedding party, he ran back and forth, he jumped around, he even threw his little ring pillow into the air.  He did everything except what he was supposed to do - stand quietly and look cute.  His dad finally nabbed him shortly after the bride was delivered to the groom and he was very quiet from that moment on.

Wouldn't it be great if we applied my pastoral wedding advice to all areas of our life?  We know everything in our lives is not going to proceed according to our plans.  Philippians 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"  That little word, "always," includes the bad times as well as the good.  How we react in bad times is dependent on our attitude before difficulties hit.  We know we can rejoice in all things because God promised us in Hebrews 13:5, "I will never leave you or forsake you."  Isn't that a reason to rejoice in bad times?  We know that the God that created the universe is going to carry us through those difficult times.  Let's always learn to lean upon Him and we will be able to always rejoice!

Boots in an "Open-Minded" Society

The Mrs. and I went on a date last Friday night.  Our typical date night will include a movie, so we decided to see, "All About Steve."  No, it is NOT a musical!  :)  The Mrs. loves Sandra Bullock movies, so picking this one was a no-brainer.  Please don't think I am recommending this movie - there were parts of this PG-13 movie that should have littered the floor of the editing room.

Sandra Bullock plays a young lady who makes crossword puzzles for a living.  She has tons of useless information in her head, which she constantly spouts to anyone who happens to be near her.  In the movie, she wears these big, red boots (see the picture above) everywhere she goes.  When asked why she wears them, she gave this answer, "I wear these boots because they make my toes feel like 10 friends on a camping trip."

I can relate to her because I like to wear boots too - but of the cowboy variety.  The Mrs. isn't especially fond of them.  She thinks they would be hot and uncomfortable, but then she hasn't ever worn them.  I have tried to get her to try on a pair, just for fun - and she won't do it.  I think she is afraid they really are comfortable and she might be tempted to wear them!   I am not as poetic as Sandra B. when explaining why I like cowboy boots; they just feel right, and look right, on my feet.

People are very legalistic, even in this "open-minded" society.  They criticize our boots, our hair styles, and our religion - among a million other things.  If you don't believe me, try saying something that is not "politically correct" in front of a large crowd and see what happens!  I can assure you that you will be ostracized far more than Sandra Bullock in her red boots!

Jesus spent much of his ministry trying to drive legalism out of our worship to God.  Jesus reprimanded the Pharisees in Luke 11:46, "And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them."  Today, Christianity suffers from legalism too.  I read somewhere recently, that if ten people from ten different countries came to your worship service and could not worship God, then we have too much of our own preferences in the service.

Is it possible that we can be just as legalistic as the Pharisees?  Do we expect people to dress a certain way to "show proper respect to God" on Sunday?  Do we get our noses bent out of joint when worship includes certain styles of music?  If the pastor changes the order of the service, do people start complaining?  There are many forms of legalism that can prevent people from worshiping our Lord and Savior.  Remember, Jesus came to set us free!  We are saved by grace, not by what we wear or the style of music we sing.

Painful Musicals

I hate musicals.  I have nothing against music, although I am not musically inclined.  In fact, I love to listen to music.  I listen to it in the car.  I listen to it in the bathtub.  I even like to listen to music while I work.  But there are some places where music doesn't have a place - which (in my opinion) includes 95% of all musicals.

So where does music belong in a movie?  When the movie is about a musician!  For instance, I loved "The Competition," a movie about a piano-playing competition, with the winner getting a contract to play in a symphony.  I enjoyed the Neil Diamond movie, "The Jazz Singer" (although I wish the main character hadn't divorced his wife and committed adultery).  And "Mr. Holland's Opus" was a fantastic show.  Even though I was never in the band in High School, I could relate to the kids struggling with life and finding solutions to their problems through their music.  In these movies, the music is intertwined with the story line in a way that makes sense.  I think very few people would disagree with me.

Unfortunately, most of the other musicals are not like that.  You may disagree with me, and that is OK.  I think musicals are totally unrealistic.  I went to "Grease" with my best friend in college a few years back (OK more than a few years back) and it is the only movie I walked out of.  It took us less than ten minutes to decide that movie was stupid beyond belief.  Picture yourself eating in a high school cafeteria.  Have you ever seen the whole student body suddenly jump up and start singing and dancing?  Some of them even jumped on the tables and were dancing on the tables!  It is totally unrealistic!

I went to "Mama Mia!" with the Mrs. last year.  She had just finished leading our church Vacation Bible School and deserved some time off, so I told her I would go to any movie she wanted.  I didn't know what I was getting myself into!  That movie has to rate as one of the worst movies of all time!  I couldn't believe how long it was; I could have sworn we were there for four or five hours.  It was painful to sit through that movie.  I heard a comedian talking about putting his arm around his girlfriend's shoulder as the movie started, then chewing his arm off to get out of there!  I sat in the theater and watched some people laughing and wondered what they were laughing at.  As we walked out of that miserable production, the Mrs. made the comment, "I bet they had fun shooting that film."  I told her I would like to have shot it; it needed to be put out of its misery!

A while back I was sharing these thoughts with some friends at Culver's.  Unfortunately, they both like musicals and so I had very little support - although Bob thought "Mama Mia!" was terrible too.  Just as I finished explaining how you never hear anyone jump up in a restaurant and start singing, a table-full of little kids burst out in song - singing the ABC's!  What timing!  Everyone at the table began laughing at the situation.  I guess it can happen once every fifty years or so...

One place where singing is normal and expected is in a place of worship.  God gave us the gift of music to help us worship Him from our hearts.  In fact, most of the Psalms were meant to be sung as songs of praise to God.  Many of the Psalms begin with the words, "For the director of music" or "A song of..."  It amazes me that some people go to church and refuse to sing.  I am not a good singer, but when everyone sings, you can't hear me anyway.  Singing leads me into a deeper worship to God than I could ever find by listening to someone else sing.  Unlike musicals, singing belongs as an important part of worship.  I challenge you to quit worrying about other people, close your eyes (if you know the words), open your heart to God, and sing to Him this Sunday!

Dead Rabbits On The Deck

Our dog caught a rabbit this past weekend  For most people, that would not be a big deal.  Dogs catch rabbits; that is what they were designed to do.  Well, most dogs are designed to catch rabbits.  I don't count ankle-biting, yipping, fluffy-haired creatures as dogs - no matter what their DNA says they are.  We have a real dog.  He is part border collie, part black lab, and part mutt.  He is a man's dog!

When Fozzie catches a rabbit, it is big news.  My boys are always talking about how fat and lazy he is.   He spends most of his day alternately begging to be petted and sleeping at our feet.  That is pretty much his whole life.  The life of ease he has grown accustomed to has made him soft in his old age.  He is a citified, fat and lazy dog.  At the ripe old age of 10 years and 9 months (75 in dog-years), I assumed his hunting days were over.  

Every now and then, he proves he is still a real dog.  Mr. Youngster looked out the door Saturday afternoon and let out a loud "ewwww, Fozzie caught a rat or something."  I was hoping it wasn't a rat!  I have never seen a rat around our house.  I grabbed a Walmart bag and headed out the door.  I knew I needed to take care of this before the Mrs. got home (she isn't especially fond of dead things).  Fozzie came up on the deck, proudly carrying a dead rabbit in his mouth.  I praised him for his manly hunting abilities and he dropped the rabbit, guts and all, at my feet.  I grabbed the rabbit and bagged it up.  Little Bunny Foo-Foo  is now awaiting burial by Sunshine Sanitation.

A couple of years ago, Fozzie caught a rabbit without anyone realizing it.  He ate the whole thing except for the head.  Assuming we would be very happy and proud of him, he brought the decapitated head up on the deck and dropped it right outside the sliding-glass door.  The Mrs. was totally grossed out when she saw the beady-eyed rabbit head with a cute button nose, floppy little bunny ears - and no body - sitting on our deck.  She refused to touch it and was horrified that Fozzie would do such a thing!  She went downstairs to another door and called Fozzie to her.  While she had him distracted, she convinced Mr. Youngster to put the head in a plastic bag and toss it away.  He was grossed out too!  She called me at work to tell me what a horrible thing Fozzie had done.  I tried to explain that he was just doing what dogs do, but it went in one ear and out the other.

Fozzie did what dogs were designed to do - hunt rabbits.  A dog is never happier than after he has successfully caught an animal he was designed to catch.  Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."  We are just like dogs.  We will never be happier than when we are doing what God has called us to do.  It is a mystery why we argue so long and hard with God when He has given us an assignment!  That assignment is tailor made for us and is designed to draw us closer to Him.  Let's trust God and ask Him to show us what to do today, and actually do it!  Then post a comment here telling us how it worked out.

Beautiful Music? Or Chaos?

Tonight was Mr. Youngster's first marching band performance.  It was amazing how many people came to the stadium to watch the band play!  Some may say they came to watch the football game, but I know better.  A football game is where two teams come together and compete for the victory.  Shortly after the game started, it was evident that there really wasn't any competition.  The local high school football team got trashed!

The band, however, did very well.  Mostly well.  They had one bad moment - which of course was at a very inopportune time.  The band was standing in front of this very large home crowd playing a well known tune called, "The Star-Spangled Banner," when the baritones got lost.  When they got lost, they dragged some of the rest of the band down with them.  You should have seen the band leader!  I think I know why he is losing his hair.  He seemed ready to pull out a few handfuls with that performance!

Other than that little fiasco, the band did very well.  Their half-time show was flawless, as far as I could tell.  Of course, I have the musical talent of a poorly trained mule, so I could have missed a sour note or two.  My lovely wife agreed with me afterward when I said the band was far more entertaining than the football game.  Of course she knows almost as much about football as I know about music!

My son is playing the cymbals in the band this year.  It seems a waste of good drumming talent to me.  I listen to him play the drums in my basement every day and even I can tell he has great talent!  But, I guess someone has to play cymbals and he is enjoying it.  It was really cool to see some of the choreography they use as they play.  I especially liked his little move where he does this neat dancing-spinning thingy while twirling a cymbal above his head. 

The highlight of the evening is when the band heads into the school to put away their instruments and hang up their uniforms.  Well, almost everyone in the band goes in.  The drum line stands outside in a semi-circle and continues to perform for quite a while.  As the drum line performed, several of the high school girls began to dance in the center of the drum line's circle.  I tell you, this group can play!  Even my cowboy boots were tapping to the beat!

As I thought of the one mishap from the band (as compared to the football team's numerous mishaps), I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 15:33, "Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."  I would guess one of the baritones lost his or her place, which caused the other baritones to lose their place, which caused the other band members around them to lose their place.  Instead of the band blending together to make beautiful music, chaos was the result.  Mr. Band Director had to become red-faced, point at those in the wrong, and gesture wildly to get the band back in sync.  When we hang around with people of bad character, our good character doesn't rub off on them; their bad character rubs off on us.  The only thing that changes bad character to good is the Holy Spirit.  We need to show God's love to these people through ministry and sharing the message of Jesus with them.  But  if they refuse to accept it, we can't stay in their world or we could become corrupted. 

When God's people follow the Divine Director, we make beautiful music.  But when we follow anyone else's lead, chaos is the result.

A Fair Amount of Joy

Labor Day was rapidly approaching and we had no family plans for the long weekend.  What could we do?  It seemed like a waste of a three-day weekend to sit around the house and do nothing.  I suggested going to St. Paul for the Minnesota State Fair.  The response I received from the family was tepid at best.  We go to the Fair about once every three or four years.  I think it takes that long for the family to forget how much they dislike it!  Without any good alternatives, they finally relented and decided to go.

My youngest son took a friend with him - I think he thought that would make it bearable.  We arrived at the Fairgrounds at about 11:30 and immediately began the lively discussions of what we were going to do, where we would meet up, and so on.  Thanks to the modern miracle of cell phones, this discussion was less prone to miscommunication and problems than in the past.  We reminded the youngster to listen for his cell phone and off we went.

My wife and I toured the "Miracle of Birth" barn, which showcased the exciting miracle of a sow giving birth to her pigs.  Ho hum - this farm boy has seen that more than he cared to!  Then we crossed the street to the arena where the 4-H kids were proudly showing off their cattle.  My wife enjoyed that part of the Fair because there were shops that circled the arena and she spent a fair amount of time shopping (I will not apologize for the pun).

Next we entered the horse barn, which is always a highlight of the Fair.  I grew up with horses as a normal part of my life.  We used horses to work the cattle on our farm, and Dad showed his horses a fair amount as well.  Dad's horses were his pride and joy!  As we walked through the horse barn, we had an unexpected surprise.  There were 220,000 people at the Fair on Saturday, and we ran into one of my church's members in the horse barn!  No matter how often things like this happen, it still surprises me.

By this time, my phone was ringing and it was the youngest telling us it was time to eat.  He must have been hungry because he settled for a foot-long hot dog, rather than walk around and look at what was available.  My wife and I were more adventurous and opted for some of the more exotic fare - the wild rice cheeseburgers.  They tasted like a regular cheeseburger to me - sigh.

Another 90 minutes of the Fair was all that my wife and son could stand, and so we headed from there to the Shrine to Materialism, otherwise known as the Mall of America.  I stocked up on some high-quality Earl Grey tea, then spent some time shopping.  For those of you who don't know the difference, buying tea is not shopping - I know what I want and I buy it.  Shopping is wandering from store to store looking at things you didn't know you needed and debating whether you should buy it or not.  Shopping with my wife always ends with me sitting in chairs outside the stores in the hallway.  After more exciting fare at Long John Silver's, our exciting trip to the Cities was complete and we headed home.

Too many times we expect our greatest enjoyment will be found in things like the State Fair.  It is pretty amazing that a fifteen year-old boy would get bored at the State Fair!  The problem was not that there was nothing to do, but that he ran out of money because he bought a fair number of Icees (four)!  When we seek our enjoyment from the things of the secular world, we will be disappointed.  1 Thessalonians 3:9 says, "How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?"  Don't let the significance of this verse pass you by!  The apostle Paul found great joy in a close relationship with God - through close relationships with other believers.  These relationships with other believers brought him closer to God and increased his joy.  Let's strengthen our relationships with our Christian brothers and sisters and I know we will find that great joy in the Lord is the result of those relationships!

The Merciful Mechanic

Whoo-Hoo!  I have my car back!  My car exhibited its first symptoms of transmission epilepsy on August 16.  I felt like a 16 year-old this morning as I climbed behind the wheel to go to work!  No more rushing to be at the bus stop by a certain time - twice a day.  No more walking to the bus stop in the rain.  No more complicated scheduling of my wife's minivan and begging for rides.  I, and the whole family, are free again!

There is a good side to this story - Mr. Mechanic, who I referred to in my Aug. 30 post, stood by his work.  I purchased the car from him 25 months ago - after he had rebuilt the transmission.  He gave me a 24 month, 24,000 mile warranty on his work.  The 24 months was past, but I had only driven 17,000 miles.  I was completely at his mercy. 

We had discussed different options for the bill over the phone during the past two weeks.  He started out saying he would certainly cover the cost of the parts, but the labor wouldn't be covered under his warranty.  Then he suggested he would split the labor cost with me.  I told him I would pay whatever he felt was fair.

Maybe he was feeling guilty for the demon-possessed loaner car he gave me (see my Aug. 30 post).  Maybe he felt guilty because I had to wait five days before he could start working on it, or because my car was in his shop for another nine days .  Or maybe he is just customer-focused and felt he should do the right thing.  The total bill from Mr. Mechanic for fixing my car was an absolutely beautiful $0.00!  And, he even delivered my fully-healed car to my house!  Of course, he had to bring a battery with him so he could drive the demon-possessed loaner back to his shop.

I can't be certain of the reason why he was merciful to me; all I know is that Q Transmission treated me more than fairly.  Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast."  Just as I was at the mercy of Q Transmission for the repair bill, I am also fully dependent on the mercy of God for the forgiveness of my sins (as we all are).  It was His great love that sent Jesus to the cross to pay the penalty for our sins.  It is His great love that sends people to us to share the story of His mercy and it is His Spirit that guides us to understand and accept the "gift of God."  Without God's mercy, we would get what we deserve - we would be punished forever for our selfish nature and rebellious acts.  I thank God for His mercy!

Looking Like Dad

I have three sons.  The oldest is in college and is working on his master's degree.  My youngest son is still in High School.  My middle boy is in the Air Force and is stationed in Missouri.  Like all military men, he received a new hair style when he arrived at boot camp last October.  Prior to that, he was a typical young man with fairly long hair and he fought most attempts to get him a haircut.

He now keeps his hair very short, and actually seems to like it better that way!  I know I prefer my hair shorter.  I find it a lot easier to deal with when it is short.  For instance, I haven't carried a comb for many years.  I can wash my hair in the morning, dry it with a towel, run my hands over it to smooth it down, and I am ready to face the world!

Of course, I don't have much choice of hair style; I inherited it from my father.  I know the geneticists insist that you inherit male pattern baldness from your mother, but Dad was losing his hair by the time he was nineteen and so did I.  My hairstyle looks exactly like his.  All my brothers have the same hairstyle too and so did Grandpa.  I blame Dad for my lack of hair.

A few weeks ago my wife, mother-in-law and our two civilian sons took a trip to Branson, Missouri.  Our airman had to work the first day and planned to meet them there after he got off work.  My wife and her carload arrived that afternoon and they stopped at a Walmart to pick up a couple of items while they were waiting on the last Stevens to arrive.  He called her while they were shopping and asked her to pick up a cheap set of hair clippers from Walmart  He needed a haircut and wouldn't have time to get one while in Branson.  So she bought the clippers and went back to the hotel.

He arrived a short time later and asked her to cut his hair in the hotel room.  She pulled out the new clippers and plugged them in.  He sat down, they put a towel around his shoulders to catch the hair, and she commenced to cutting.  Since she was giving him a buzz, she set the clippers to the right length and took a swipe right down the middle of the top of his head.  Then the clippers stopped working.

They pulled the manual out and began reading and discovered that the clippers needed to charge for 16 hours before using them!  He looked at her and said, "I can't go out looking like Dad!"  My wife said she was laughing so hard she could hardly stand up!

They decided he would stay at the hotel a little later the next day and hope the clippers charged enough to finish the haircut.  They didn't, so now he was in a dilemma.  His hair was so butchered up that he didn't want to be seen outside.  He solved the problem by pulling out his razor and shaving his head.

I was walking to a meeting at Mayo early that morning when my cell phone began playing my "Mountain Music" ringtone.  When I answered, the first words I heard were, "Well Dad, for the first time in your life, you have more hair than I do!"  He then went on to tell me what happened. 

Men have a hard time reading the manual for the gadgets we buy.  We prefer to learn by trial and error.  That is the wrong way to live a life, though.  God gave us a manual for our lives called the Holy Bible.  It has all the directions we need to live a full and meaningful life.  Unfortunately, we have a tendency to treat the Bible like any other manual - only reading it when we mess up.  If my wife and son had read the clipper's manual first, there wouldn't have been problems.  If we read the Bible every day, and follow its directions, we will have no self-induced problems.  Yes, I know problems will still come.  But they are problems that God has already prepared solutions for.   When we cause our own problems, they tend to be stickier wickets than we would have liked!  Read your personal manual every day and see if it doesn't help you throughout the day.