Choosing A Team

My favorite NFL team is the Kansas City Chiefs.  Since I was born and raised in northwest Missouri, you might think it was quite natural to follow them, but that really wasn't the case.  I never followed the NFL during my formative childhood years.  I loved baseball (still do!) and I enjoyed following the Missouri Tigers in college football and basketball.  But, the NFL never caught my attention until late 1989.

I moved to Sioux City, Iowa in December of 1988.  When football season came in 1989, I discovered I was a square peg in a round hole.  Everyone I hung around with loved the NFL.  I ate countless lunches that Fall in total silence because I had no idea what was going on in the NFL.  Finally, I decided to start following this sport so I would know what everyone was talking about.  It's tough to follow a sport without any team loyalties, so I started the process of picking a team.

You would think I would have selected the Chiefs to start with, but that wasn't the case.  I had a specific set of criteria I used to select my team.  First, I wanted to follow a team that no one else I knew followed - that way I could argue with everyone!  Second, I wanted to follow a team in the Midwest so I could watch them on TV and maybe in person.  Third, they needed to have some moral values.  Armed with this information, I settled on... the Cincinnati Bengals!

I know what you are thinking - you can understand how they filled the first two criteria, but what about the third?  Sam Wyche was the coach of the Bengals that year and he did a couple of things that caught my attention.  He refused to allow female reporters into the locker room - which made sense to me.  The league disagreed with him, though, and made him scratch that rule.  The second action by Coach Wyche was a classic!

The Bengals were playing against Cleveland at home.  The officials made a call that the rowdy home crowd did not appreciate.  They began booing loudly and throwing things onto the field.  The officials asked Coach Wyche to tell the crowd to stop throwing things on the field.  He took the microphone on the sidelines and stepped out onto the field.  He pleaded with the crowd to stop throwing things on the field, because "you live in Cincinnati, not Cleveland!"  I loved it (there is a major rivalry between those two teams) - but the officials didn't and gave him a "sportsmanship" penalty.

The day I decided to be a Bengals fan, I went home from work, putzed around a bit, and flipped on the TV.  There was a football game on and the Bengals were on!  I sat down and began rooting for my beloved Bengals when the Mrs. walked into the room.  She saw me watching the game and questioned what I was doing.  She noted that I didn't like pro football and I replied, "I love pro football, and the Bengals are my favorite team."  She asked me, "Since when?" - to which I replied, "Since this afternoon!"  She rolled her eyes and walked away.

As an FYI, after the Bengals served as the NFL's doormat for many long and depressing years.  I finally gave up on them and switched to the Chiefs.  I have no plans to switch again, no matter how bad they are playing.

Choosing a football team is not a major choice for most of us.  And, if we get disappointed in the team we choose, we can switch loyalties without offending too many people.  However, choosing to follow Jesus Christ is a major decision that we should never vacillate on.  God audibly affirmed Jesus when He said, "This is My Son whom I love; with Him I am well pleased."  God gave us the gift of His Son so that we might have eternal life.  1 John 5:11-12 clearly says, "God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.  He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life."  To refuse to accept the gift of Jesus is to choose everlasting death over eternal life.  Is that really what we want to do?  Let's become great fans of Jesus, accept the gift of salvation He offers us, and the promise of eternal life is ours!

Unexpected Blessings

We are fortunate to have a Culver's just about a quarter-mile southeast of our house.  For the nearly ten years we have lived in our house, we have enjoyed meals at Culver's.  Our oldest son worked there while he was in high school, which was a great job - we got a family discount!  It has also become a tradition for the family to eat there after church on Sunday nights with some friends from church.

If you have never been to Culver's, I will do my best to describe it.  It looks like a fast-food restaurant, but it doesn't quite fit that description.  Their hamburgers are excellent and made-to-order - no warming tray for precooked sandwiches .  Mr. Interface, one of the Microsoft programmers I work with, insists on eating there every time he comes to Rochester - he loves their Butterburgers!  They are quite good...

They also have frozen custard - which is ice cream on steroids!  They post their "Flavor of the Day" on their sign along the highway, and I always check the sign.  You just can't drive by some flavors!  I like all the flavors except the ones with coconut in them.  I don't understand why you would ruin perfectly good ice cream by putting coconut in it. 

This past Sunday found me at Culver's with my good friends, Mr. and Mrs. Musical Lovers and their youngest son.  The Mrs. and Mr. Youngster had eaten earlier, so I was the only one there from my family.  We had finished eating and were sitting around joking and laughing (as usual) when a Culver's employee approached our table.  In his hands were two pumpkin-pecan Concrete Mixer malts.  He asked if we would like to have them - free of charge!  Naturally, I agreed.  It turns out that Mr. Musical Lover doesn't like pumpkin, so his wife and I enjoyed the Concrete Mixers.  Culver's wasn't through with us though, soon another employee walked up with a caramel cashew sundae and offered it to Mr. Musical Lover.  He gladly accepted it.  We were all three in heaven as we enjoyed our free and unexpected desserts!  I believe the freebies were given to us (good customers) because it was their 10th anniversary of the restaurant.  The Mrs. and Mr. Youngster chose a bad night to eat early...

In Malachi 3:10, God offers us a challenge, "Bring the whole tithe (10%) into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."  I have heard many people say they can't afford to give a tithe to the church.  From personal experience, I found that isn't true.  The Mrs. and I have been tithing from the day we were married.  Yes, there were times that money was extremely tight and giving a tithe to God was an act of faith.  But we quickly found that God will take care of us when we trust Him.  And this verse is 100% true - He will bless you abundantly more than you can ever imagine when you trust Him with the tithe.  I was excited to receive the unexpected blessing of a pumpkin-pecan Concrete Mixer from Culver's the other night, but it pales in comparison to the unexpected blessings God has poured out in my life!

Pigskin Designs

Mr. Youngster and I have been enjoying the unseasonably warm (for Minnesota) November temperatures by tossing the pigskin around.  Football is really not my sport - I love baseball.  I love the pop of a baseball when it hits the glove.  I love the crack of the bat.  The baseball was made to be thrown.  Even a young child can throw a baseball with pretty good accuracy. 

Whoever designed the football was a sadist.  I know it can be thrown accurately for long distances - I have seen it happen on TV.  But the football was not designed to be thrown.  It's shape is all wrong for throwing.  I think it was designed to bounce erratically on the ground to drive the players nuts.  When I throw the football, I don't get a nice, tight spiral.  I can usually hit Mr. Youngster at the numbers, but it rarely is going to have a nice spiral.  More often than not it resembles a wounded duck.

Mr. Youngster, on the other hand, can throw the football with a spiral most of the time.  However, he is sadly confused.  He apparently thinks I walk on my hands, because his tosses always come right at my feet!  It doesn't matter if he is standing close to me or 30 yards away, it always comes right to my feet.  I am now nursing a sore pinky finger on my right hand because I tried to reach down and catch one of his passes.  It hit the ground and took a typical football bounce (who knows where it is going) and jammed my pinky finger.

We often question the design of many items we buy; we have all experienced the frustration of poorly designed products.  I have spent hundreds of dollars fixing cars that were poorly designed.  I have thrown away toys days after Christmas because they couldn't stand up to child's play.  But God's designs are perfect in every case.  As we look through the creation story at the beginning of Genesis, we repeatedly read the phrase "it was good."  When He created Adam and Eve, the phrase changed to "it was very good."  While we may not like certain features of our bodies, God made us so we must be "very good."  We don't have to look like a Hollywood movie star to be a star in God's eyes.  We just need to use the talents and gifts He gave us to fulfill the purpose He designed us for and we will be perfectly satisfied with our lives.

Not Going Anywhere

Last week I alluded to a time when Big Brother and I got stuck in Dad's pickup.  Due to popular demand, I will share what happened.

Big Brother and I were both in high school the year Dad fell and broke his leg.  He is a tough bird - he went to a basketball game with the broken leg before he went to the doctor.  After visiting the doctor, his leg was in a cast and his mobility was greatly reduced.

Much to our chagrin, that meant Big Brother and I had more chores to do before we headed off to school.  We were climbing out of bed at 0-dark:30 to feed the cows every morning.  Big Brother always drove the pickup, because he was older and a "better driver."  Did I mention it was pretty muddy at the time?

He drove the pickup up to the silage pit and we filled the back of the pickup with silage.  Then we headed for the pasture to feed the cows.  To get to that pasture we had to drive on a path alongside a corn field.  The path was pretty muddy, but it was just slick - not deep.  On that particular morning, Big Brother slid in the sloppy-mud a little too much and slid off the path into the corn field.  Unlike the path, it was a deep and sticky mud!

Being a "better driver" and headstrong, he was determined to drive back out.  We were in 4-wheel drive, so he gave it the gas and attempted to pull back up to the path.  No dice.  He threw it in reverse and gunned it and made a little progress, but was soon stopped.  Back into 2nd gear and and a lot of gas and we moved forward a few feet.  He tried to rock the pickup to get it out, going forward and back repeatedly.  It soon became evident that we weren't going anywhere.  Finally he gave up and shut the engine off.

We opened our doors and stepped out of the pickup.  Notice I didn't say we stepped DOWN out of the pickup - we literally stepped out.  The ground was at an even level with the floorboards.  I have never seen a vehicle stuck in the mud as good as that one was!

We walked a mile back to the house and broke the bad news to Dad.  We changed clothes and headed off to school, leaving Dad to figure out how to get the pickup out.  When we got home that night, Dad was not very happy with us!  He took the tractor over to the field and was unable to pull the pickup out with the tractor.  Our neighbor had a small Caterpillar in the next field over, so he asked his neighbor to pull it out.  The Cat couldn't pull it out either.  It took both - the tractor and the Cat to yank that pickup, full of silage, out of the mud!  Big Brother never does anything halfway!

David wrote the following words in Psalm 40, "I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." This life is full of mud and mire.  Sin and temptations surround us on every side and threaten to pull us in where we will be unable to escape.  But God has the power to break the hold of sin and temptation on our lives.  He desires to set our feet on solid ground where we won't slip and slide.  This type of prayer is one that God will always answer.  Why would we trust anyone or anything else?

Finding God's Will

I spent this week preparing my message for the MN-WI Baptist Convention's Annual Meeting.  I actually settled in on a topic a couple of months ago; I was going to preach on the need to plant new churches in Minnesota and Wisconsin.  This is a great need and it is a topic that is very near and dear to my heart because I served as a church planter in Iowa.  Since I have read a considerable amount of literature on starting churches, and I have experience, I felt I could provide a unique look at church planting.  I was excited to be able to share my enthusiasm for church planting with the pastors and church leaders at the Annual Meeting!

I had even zeroed in on the Scripture passage and a couple of good illustrations over a month ago.  After completing my commentary studies of the selected Scriptures, I sat down Saturday to begin writing the message.  With a cup of hot tea next to the keyboard, my Bible open to the Book of Acts, a couple of commentaries opened with heavy highlighting, I was ready to go!

Scanning the Scriptures, I quickly produced a 4-point outline of the message.  So far, so good!  Then I opened up a line under the first point, positioned my hands over the keyboard, focused my eyes on the screen, and started to ... think.  Nothing was coming.  Nothing.

I know you have been there.  You had an assignment to write in school and couldn't think of anything to say.  Or you had an important document to create for work and you froze.  We have all had writer's block.  Preachers get it too.

I did all I could to break the block.  I reread the commentaries.  I checked some of the words in the Scripture against my Greek dictionary.  After a couple of hours of effort, and five cups of tea, I had about 3 lines written.  This was not good.  Sunday fared no better; I was stuck and didn't have a clue what to do.  Like the time my brother got Dad's pickup stuck in a muddy cornfield, I wasn't going anywhere.

I have been listening to some John Maxwell sermons in my car as I commute to work, and Monday I was listening to a sermon on "Finding God's Will."  Suddenly it hit me - maybe my church planting sermon was not God's will for this message at this meeting.  God has done this to me before, so I should have recognized the symptoms, but I hadn't.

Mr. Youngster had a band concert at the High School Monday night, so I grabbed my Bible and took it with me to the concert.  While we were waiting forever for the concert to start, I was scanning through the New Testament to see where God would lead me.  When I hit 1 Corintheans, it was like a light lit up on my GPS telling me I have "reached my destination."

I went back to work on my message Tuesday afternoon and within a couple of hours, the first draft was done.  It's amazing how easy it is to prepare a sermon when the Holy Spirit is in the driver's seat!  Now it is Thursday and the message has been polished, my Powerpoint is completed, and I am ready to deliver God's Word at the Annual Meeting.  I am confident that I am saying what God wants me to say.

It seems this is a lesson I am continually learning.  I must stay in God's will if I am to be effective in my life - and not just in my preaching, but in every aspect of my life.  Have you ever wanted something really bad and roadblocks seemed to continually pop up that blocked you from getting it?  Maybe that wasn't bad luck; maybe God had other plans for you.  My experiences in life have proven that I am better off in God's will than chasing my own "wants" and "wishes."  It's not always easy to find God's will, but it is worth it!

Seeing Love

Many, many years ago I was assigned a seat in the last row of my 2nd grade class.  That is the advantage of having a last name that starts with "S" - I was nearly always in the last row!  This time though, it wasn't an advantage - I couldn't read the blackboard.  I complained to Mrs. Teach and she moved me up a few rows.  That didn't seem to help much, so I let her know that I still couldn't see the blackboard.  Mrs. Teach once again moved me up - this time all the way to the 2nd row.  

Wouldn't you know it?  I still couldn't see the blackboard!  Mrs. Teach didn't think that was normal, so she sent me off to the Nurse's Office for an eye check.  After the impromptu eye exam, the school nurse wrote a letter and gave it to me to take home to my parents.  When I got home that night, I gave the note to Mom and ran out to play.  Within a couple of days I was headed to Bethany to see the local optometrist.  The news was not good - I had 20-100 vision.  I think the scientific term for that is "blinder than a bat."  Within weeks, this scrawny little boy was wearing  ugly thick-framed, black plastic glasses. 

I remember stepping outside with my new glasses on and looking up at the sky.  For the first time in my life I could see stars!  I had always assumed the sky was cloudy since I could never saw any stars.  And instead of a big yellow blob, the moon had distinct features.  I felt like I had entered a whole new world!

One day after school, I took my glasses off and ran outside to play.  Dad was moving some of our horses to winter pasture, and I climbed up in the pickup with him.  The horses were moving down the road in front of us, and I asked Dad where he got that little white colt.  He looked at me funny and asked, "What white colt?"  I pointed at the back of the horses at this white blob following the small herd.  Dad said, "That is your brother!"  He was wearing a white t-shirt and I couldn't tell the brat from a colt!

1 Corinthians 13:12 says, "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."  This verse comes from the Bible's famous "love chapter."  What is Paul trying to tell us?  The mirrors of Paul's day weren't the nearly-perfect mirrors we have today.  They typically were polished metal, and didn't reflect all that well.  Just as I couldn't see my brother well enough to recognize him, we will not fully know love until we see God face-to-face.  The best love this world has to offer is nothing but a very poor reflection of the perfect love of God.  God's love was best demonstrated when He sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross in our place.  What an awesome display of love!  I can't wait to meet Him face-to-face and fully experience His love forever in heaven!

A Weekend With Fozzie

The Minnesota teacher's union had meetings last Thursday and Friday.  Normally that would not be big news, but it was very inconvenient for me.  You see, the Mrs. and Mr. Youngster decided to go to Missouri for the long weekend.  I didn't get to go. :(

I hate being alone.  The Mrs. would remind me that technically I wasn't alone - Fozzie stayed here with me.  Nothing against fat, lazy dogs, but I prefer some human interactions.  That mutt can't begin to compete with the loving nature of my wife and the lively discussions I have with Mr. Youngster.

Let me take a moment to describe a typical weekend day with Fozzie.  I get up in the morning and go downstairs.  Fozzie is up and wagging his tail madly, his tongue is hanging out, and he looks like he is thrilled to death to see me.  But the reality is, he is ready for breakfast.  I let him out, put some dog food in his bowl, give him fresh water, and he ignores me while he inhales a bowl of Iam's.

I go back upstairs to get ready for the day.  By the time I have dressed and am ready for the day, Fozzie is ready to come back in.  I let him in, then go into the kitchen to prepare an exciting breakfast of cold cereal.  Sigh.  I sit down to eat and Fozzie sits down a few inches from me, drooling on my leg as he watches me eat.  How can he still be hungry?

After breakfast, I head downstairs to work on my sermon at the computer.  As soon as I sit down, Fozzie lays his head on my leg and looks up at me with sad, puppy-dog eyes.  That is how he begs us to pet him.  I scratch his neck under his collar for a couple of minutes, then turn my attention to the sermon.  Feeling ignored, Fozzie heads for his doggy pillow.  Taking his front feet, he gathers some of the material up between his paws and starts sucking on it.  Yes, he is the world's only pillow-sucking dog!  We think he reverts back to his puppy days and is pretending to suckle on his mommy!

Now Mr. Exciting Dog lays down and goes to sleep.  He is such a high-energy dog!  Sometimes he snores.  Sometimes you see a leg twitch - and... that is about it.  Whoo-hoo - what great company that dog is!  I miss the Mrs. and Mr. Youngster...

After creating Adam, God said, "It is not good for man to be alone."  He then created Eve, the first woman, using one of Adam's ribs.  Why do we think we it is a strength to be independent?  The fact is, we are strongest when we lean on each other.  Our spouse is meant to complete us, providing strengths where we have weaknesses.  In those areas of our lives where we are weakest, we need to rely upon, and trust, the strength of our spouse.  Don't let areas of differences cause conflict in our marriages - let them strengthen our marriages.  When we do that, then we are truly "one flesh."

McMeals To-Go

Three weeks ago we left the house to go to Missouri for my nephew's wedding.  The wedding was to start at 4:00, and we left the house at 10:20 with five hours of travel time ahead of us.  We were cutting it closer than I had planned.

Mr. Youngster wanted some breakfast to eat on the way, but I wanted to keep traveling.  So we pulled off after traveling only five miles to get some McGriddle meals.  Mr. Youngster loves McGriddles.  The Mrs. likes them too.  We pulled into the drive-thru, ordered, and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Finally, Mr. McLate delivered a sack of food, apologized, and gave us a couple of apple pies to make up for the long wait.  Inwardly, I seethed.  Outwardly, I smiled and took the food.  As I pulled away, the Mrs. checked the bag and announced that they had shorted us a McGriddle.  Sigh....

I ran back across the parking lot (not a pretty sight) and into McDonald's, up to the counter, and explained the problem.  Fortunately, there was a McGriddle that was ready (I wonder why...) and they gave it to me.  We were back on the road.  Fifteen minutes wasted, but we were rolling.

At about 1:00, Mr. Youngster was making noises about starving to death, so we pulled into - McDonald's.  I guess we needed a break that day - or two.  Since we were running later than we had planned, we placed our order to-go.  They quickly (!) provided the food, two empty pop cups, and an Iced Mocha for the Mrs.  They placed the empty cups and the Iced Mocha in one of those handy-dandy drink carriers, which I carried over to the pop machine.  Grabbing the two empty pop cups, I lifted them up - and watched in slooooow moooootion as the handy-dandy drink carrier tipped and dumped a glass of Iced Mocha on my feet and all over the floor.  Growl.  I don't even like coffee and now I was wearing it.

I decided the best option was to fill the pop cups, then head back to the counter to apologize for the mess and pay for another drink.  Shortly after putting the lids FIRMLY on the pop cups and pushing them FIRMLY into the handy-dandy drink carrier, Miss McNice walked up with a smile and an Iced Mocha.  She offered me the new mocha at no cost and wished me a better day.  Her smile wiped away my bad mood and soon we were back on the interstate, munching our McMeals as we went.  Oh, and the Mrs. sipped on her Iced Mocha.  I hope she enjoyed it...

Some days are like that.  The more we are in a hurry, the more the world conspires to slow us down.  R.C. Sproul wrote that Martin Luther said he needed at least an hour of prayer to start the day.  But on a really busy day, he needed at least two hours of prayer.  I know I had my quiet time that morning, but I also know my mind was more on the trip than on God.  I wonder if God had something important to tell me and, in my hurried state, I had missed it.  Maybe He wanted to slow me down so I could hear Him more clearly.  Most fathers want to spend time with their children, why would our Heavenly Father be any different?  I think I will go and talk to my Heavenly Father for a while...

Kids Say The Darndest Things

When I was (much) younger, Art Linkletter had a TV show, "Kids Say The Darndest Things."  If you remember, Mr. Linkletter would sit down with some children and ask them questions.  Their unexpected answers provided plenty of laughs!  I felt like Art Linkletter this morning.

I set aside a time during the worship hour every week for a children's message.  The kids come to the front of the church with me, we sit on the steps leading up to the pulpit, and we chat about a topic.  I brought in my annual yearbook from my senior year in high school this morning.  I had covered the names of all the guys on the pages that opened to my picture.  I asked the kids to find my picture.

Little Miss Honesty pointed to my picture right away.  Now, I want you to understand that I have changed more than a little bit in 32 years.  I used to have hair, now I don't have so much.  I used to wear glasses, now I wear contacts.  I used to be skinny, now I am ... well, not skinny.  I was shocked to see her get it right on the first try!  I fully expected them to spend more than a second looking at the pictures.  Foolishly, I asked Little Miss Honesty how she knew it was me.  She quickly replied, "I picked the nerdiest one!"  I shouldn't have asked!

Hebrews 13:8 says, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."  I am not the same today that I was yesterday, and I know I will continue to change throughout my life.  I look different and I have different likes and dislikes.  My opinions on various issues have changed.  I am much different than I was.  But it is comforting to know that Jesus has not changed.  When we read what Jesus said in the Bible, we know that He still believes what He said then.  The rules He set forth then are still in effect now.  The love He showed people then, He still shows us now.  We know He still loves us and His death on the cross paved the way for us to be with Him in heaven.  Praise the Lord, He is still the same Savior!

A Cat From Above

About a year after the Mrs. and I were married, we made a trip home to Missouri to visit the folks.  While there, we also dropped by to see a very good friend, who was engaged to my sister-in-law (SIL).  I will call her Nurse SIL-ly, which seems appropriate.  As our visit was wrapping up, Nurse SIL-ly showed us a litter of kittens that were ready to be weaned.  They weren't very pretty, just plain old farm cats.  But wouldn't you know it - we took one of those critters home!  On the way back to Omaha, the Mrs. asked me what we should name him.  I suggested Dufus, and thus it was so.

Dufus was our first pet.  I think he was also our dumbest pet.  I guess he lived up to his name.  I have always heard it is easy to house-train a cat, because it is natural for them to want to use the litter box.  Not Dufus.  He was OK during the day, but he was likely to leave his "feline feces" anywhere in the house at night.  After a few nights of that, we started shutting Dufus in the utility room for the night.

Dufus didn't really like the utility room, but he didn't have much choice.  We put a little basket in there with a towel in it for him to sleep on and his litter box was in that room.  It was the only unfinished room in the house, so he couldn't damage it.  The utility room was in the basement of the house, which was finished like most houses of that time period.  The basement was where our family room was located.  It had carpet that had been glued to the cement floor, and had a drop-ceiling.  It used fluorescent lights hung just above those clear plastic ceiling pieces.

One night we were sound asleep when we heard a loud crash downstairs.  Being the brave and macho man of the house, I grabbed a baseball bat and headed for the basement.  I was Tarzan and GI Joe, all rolled into one - I was going to protect my bride!  When I ran into the family room, there was Dufus standing in the middle of the room with broken pieces of clear plastic all over the floor around him.  He had climbed the walls of the utility room, then walked across the drop-ceiling above the family room.  He was doing fine until he decided to walk across that flimsy, clear plastic underneath a light!  I wonder what he thought when he came crashing down into the family room!

Matthew 7:24-27 talks about the wise and foolish builders.  The wise man built his house with the foundation secured to rock.  The foolish man built his house on sand.  When the rains came and the wind blew, the house on the rock stood easily against the storm.  But the house on sand fell with a mighty crash.  Jesus gave a simple explanation for this story - those who build their life on His Word is like the man who built on the rock.  His life will be anchored to the Truth and will withstand the storms.  But those who anchor their life to anything else are headed for a mighty crash.

Dufus thought he was walking on something solid, but he was fooled and he came through the ceiling with a mighty crash.  When we put our trust in our jobs, our government, our families, education, etc., we are in trouble.  At first glance everything seems solid, but only God's Word can carry us when the storms hit our life with their fullest fury.  Don't be a Dufus - trust your life to Jesus and live it according to His Word.

A Valentine's Day Surprise

At a prior job, I worked with a couple of very good men that I became close friends with.  Big Mac and Mr. Trivia were not only my co-workers, but also my lunch buddies, fellow baseball fans, and practical jokers.  I have always held the opinion that you should be able to have fun at work - and we did!  We worked hard and we had fun - often at the expense of each other.

One winter, Mr. Trivia decided to leave the icebox of northwest Iowa for a week-long vacation in sunny Florida.  He was due to return to work on February 14, and Big Mac and I were looking forward to his return.  Anytime someone is gone from the team, everyone else on the team winds up doing more work.  So we were anxious for Mr. Trivia to return to work.  Besides that, it was boring without him around.

On the 13th, Big Mac and I decided we should welcome Mr. Trivia back in style.  We discussed a few possible "Welcome Home" possibilities and settled on a good one.  Since he was returning on Valentine's Day, we would take advantage of the holiday to let him know how much we missed him.

We went to Walmart over the lunch hour and bought some valentine cards - of the Barbie variety.  We dug through the piles of papers on his desk until we found one with his signature on it.  By the way, that was no easy feat - Mr. Trivia's filing system consisted of a process called "throw it on a pile somewhere."  We scanned the nearly indecipherable scrawl from that piece of paper into the computer.  Then, with the utmost care, we fed each Barbie valentine through the printer - placing his signature right in the middle of the back of each valentine.  Since Mr. Trivia was single, we thought we might help him meet some of the young ladies in the company.  After everyone else went home, we went around the office, strategically placing a valentine on the desks of many of the known single women in the company.  We went home that night, knowing we had a productive day!

Mr. Trivia arrived at work the next day, freshly revived from his luxurious Florida holiday, and began reading his backlog of emails.  Within a few minutes this cute young lady walks up to him and thanks him for the Valentine's Day card.  He immediately denied giving her a valentine, but she insisted he did.  She told him, "It has your signature on the back!"  He retorted, "That's can't be my signature," and he grabbed the valentine from her and looked at the back.  Then he got a funny look on his face and said, "Yes it is."  All day long, single women were wandering over to Mr. Trivia's desk to thank him for his thoughtfulness.  Later in the day he told Big Mac and I that he was never leaving his checkbook laying around when we were nearby!  I wonder how he knew it was us...

The Bible is God's love letter, or valentine, to us.  Through His Word, God opens His heart to us so we can see who He is and understand His character. His love was demonstrated for us on the cross.  Jesus died on the cross to pay the full penalty for our sins.  John 3:16 says, "For God loved the world (us) in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone (even you!) who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life."  Mr. Trivia's valentine cards were forged and didn't reflect his feelings toward any of those women.  But God's love cannot be forged - His Son did what no one else could do, He proved God's love on the cross by rising from the dead.  His resurrection proved God's Word, and His love, is true and can be trusted.

Wake Up!!!

Last Wednesday, the Mrs. received a phone call from one of Mr. Youngster's fellow band members.  He shared with her the plans the band members had for Mr. Youngster on Homecoming morning.  The drumline has a tradition that includes a surprise or two for the sophomores on Homecoming Friday.  We were instructed to leave a door unlocked.  The Mrs. had a better idea - they could call her cell phone before arriving and she would go open the door for them.

The cell phone rang bright and early at 4:45 on Friday morning.  The Mrs. got up, threw on a robe, and went running down the stairs to open the door.  Standing at the door were 15 little drummer boys (without drums) from the high school band, all wearing various styles of black and red clothing, painted faces, and smiles.  They paraded into the house in a seemingly endless stream of black and red, and headed straight for Mr. Youngster's room.  They quietly circled his bed, then on cue began yelling at him to get up - that he was going to be late.  They shook his bed as they yelled.  They blew an airhorn (thank you very much).   They made enough noise to raise the dead.  It worked - the dead finally arose from his bed and was soon getting dressed.  The little drummer boys provided him with a t-shirt - about three sizes too small and painted up with a Homecoming message.  As he got dressed, the little drummer boys continued to scream at him, "Hurry up!"  Ten minutes after the phone call, he was headed out the door to pick up more little drummer boys and then to Perkins for breakfast, where the seniors bought his meal.

After school on Friday night, I asked Mr. Youngster what he thought when he saw all those guys standing in his room yelling at him.  He said when he first opened his eyes, everything looked pretty blurry, so he thought it was a dream. But then, as he blinked the sleep from his eyes, he realized it wasn't a dream - but he was very confused about it.  He hardly had time to get dressed and out the door.  All in all, I am certain he enjoyed it!  I think the Mrs. enjoyed it more than he did!  I, on the other hand, attempted to enjoy my sleep - but was unable to because of all the ruckus.

Romans 13:11 challenges us when it says, "The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed."  Mr. Youngster had to awaken from his slumber to participate in the fun Homecoming activities .  Jesus is going to return.  While most of the world is spiritually deaf to this fact, there is no excuse for the Christian.  The next verse tells us, "The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light."  Let's wake up, clean up, and focus on living for Christ.  The King is Coming!  And it will be a day filled with joy for all who are spiritually awake!

The Perfect (?) Wedding

I always warn the bride and groom in the weddings I perform that something is going to go wrong during the ceremony.  They have two choices on how to handle it:  they can get irritated and let it ruin their special day, or they can enjoy it, knowing they will laugh about it in the future. This is very difficult for some people, because they want the "perfect wedding."  They go to great lengths to plan and ensure there are no problems during the ceremony.  But one of the "high-risk areas for unplanned activities" centers on the children in the wedding party.  Children tend to be very unpredictable - especially young children.

We traveled down to Missouri this past weekend to see my nephew get married.   They were married in a small rural town in a beautiful brick church built in1913 (according to the cornerstone).  The church is full of oak woodwork, hardwood floors, oak pews, stained glass windows - a fantastic setting for a wedding!  The ceremony was pretty normal, but as I noted above, there is always something that doesn't go according to plan.

Knowing the history of little children in weddings, I watched the flower girl and ring bearer with great interest.  The flower girl did a great job.  She walked up the aisle with the ring bearer without any hesitation.  It was really cute when she stopped to pick up a rose petal that had fallen out of her basket!  Everyone smiled at her as she stooped to pick it up.

The ring bearer, however, was a typical 3 year-old boy.  He was doing fine until he made it up to the front of the church.  But there was no way he was going to quietly stand up there during the entire ceremony!  Little boys are designed to be in a constant state of motion, and this little guy was no exception.  Within a few minutes of arriving at the front of the church, he "escaped" and began stomping on those beautiful hardwood floors - which created a really nice echo throughout the church.  The bride hesitated at the back of the church to allow them time to corral him, but it didn't work.  Once the boy realized everyone was watching him, it was time to put on a show!  He stomped, he circled the wedding party, he ran back and forth, he jumped around, he even threw his little ring pillow into the air.  He did everything except what he was supposed to do - stand quietly and look cute.  His dad finally nabbed him shortly after the bride was delivered to the groom and he was very quiet from that moment on.

Wouldn't it be great if we applied my pastoral wedding advice to all areas of our life?  We know everything in our lives is not going to proceed according to our plans.  Philippians 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"  That little word, "always," includes the bad times as well as the good.  How we react in bad times is dependent on our attitude before difficulties hit.  We know we can rejoice in all things because God promised us in Hebrews 13:5, "I will never leave you or forsake you."  Isn't that a reason to rejoice in bad times?  We know that the God that created the universe is going to carry us through those difficult times.  Let's always learn to lean upon Him and we will be able to always rejoice!

Boots in an "Open-Minded" Society

The Mrs. and I went on a date last Friday night.  Our typical date night will include a movie, so we decided to see, "All About Steve."  No, it is NOT a musical!  :)  The Mrs. loves Sandra Bullock movies, so picking this one was a no-brainer.  Please don't think I am recommending this movie - there were parts of this PG-13 movie that should have littered the floor of the editing room.

Sandra Bullock plays a young lady who makes crossword puzzles for a living.  She has tons of useless information in her head, which she constantly spouts to anyone who happens to be near her.  In the movie, she wears these big, red boots (see the picture above) everywhere she goes.  When asked why she wears them, she gave this answer, "I wear these boots because they make my toes feel like 10 friends on a camping trip."

I can relate to her because I like to wear boots too - but of the cowboy variety.  The Mrs. isn't especially fond of them.  She thinks they would be hot and uncomfortable, but then she hasn't ever worn them.  I have tried to get her to try on a pair, just for fun - and she won't do it.  I think she is afraid they really are comfortable and she might be tempted to wear them!   I am not as poetic as Sandra B. when explaining why I like cowboy boots; they just feel right, and look right, on my feet.

People are very legalistic, even in this "open-minded" society.  They criticize our boots, our hair styles, and our religion - among a million other things.  If you don't believe me, try saying something that is not "politically correct" in front of a large crowd and see what happens!  I can assure you that you will be ostracized far more than Sandra Bullock in her red boots!

Jesus spent much of his ministry trying to drive legalism out of our worship to God.  Jesus reprimanded the Pharisees in Luke 11:46, "And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them."  Today, Christianity suffers from legalism too.  I read somewhere recently, that if ten people from ten different countries came to your worship service and could not worship God, then we have too much of our own preferences in the service.

Is it possible that we can be just as legalistic as the Pharisees?  Do we expect people to dress a certain way to "show proper respect to God" on Sunday?  Do we get our noses bent out of joint when worship includes certain styles of music?  If the pastor changes the order of the service, do people start complaining?  There are many forms of legalism that can prevent people from worshiping our Lord and Savior.  Remember, Jesus came to set us free!  We are saved by grace, not by what we wear or the style of music we sing.

Painful Musicals

I hate musicals.  I have nothing against music, although I am not musically inclined.  In fact, I love to listen to music.  I listen to it in the car.  I listen to it in the bathtub.  I even like to listen to music while I work.  But there are some places where music doesn't have a place - which (in my opinion) includes 95% of all musicals.

So where does music belong in a movie?  When the movie is about a musician!  For instance, I loved "The Competition," a movie about a piano-playing competition, with the winner getting a contract to play in a symphony.  I enjoyed the Neil Diamond movie, "The Jazz Singer" (although I wish the main character hadn't divorced his wife and committed adultery).  And "Mr. Holland's Opus" was a fantastic show.  Even though I was never in the band in High School, I could relate to the kids struggling with life and finding solutions to their problems through their music.  In these movies, the music is intertwined with the story line in a way that makes sense.  I think very few people would disagree with me.

Unfortunately, most of the other musicals are not like that.  You may disagree with me, and that is OK.  I think musicals are totally unrealistic.  I went to "Grease" with my best friend in college a few years back (OK more than a few years back) and it is the only movie I walked out of.  It took us less than ten minutes to decide that movie was stupid beyond belief.  Picture yourself eating in a high school cafeteria.  Have you ever seen the whole student body suddenly jump up and start singing and dancing?  Some of them even jumped on the tables and were dancing on the tables!  It is totally unrealistic!

I went to "Mama Mia!" with the Mrs. last year.  She had just finished leading our church Vacation Bible School and deserved some time off, so I told her I would go to any movie she wanted.  I didn't know what I was getting myself into!  That movie has to rate as one of the worst movies of all time!  I couldn't believe how long it was; I could have sworn we were there for four or five hours.  It was painful to sit through that movie.  I heard a comedian talking about putting his arm around his girlfriend's shoulder as the movie started, then chewing his arm off to get out of there!  I sat in the theater and watched some people laughing and wondered what they were laughing at.  As we walked out of that miserable production, the Mrs. made the comment, "I bet they had fun shooting that film."  I told her I would like to have shot it; it needed to be put out of its misery!

A while back I was sharing these thoughts with some friends at Culver's.  Unfortunately, they both like musicals and so I had very little support - although Bob thought "Mama Mia!" was terrible too.  Just as I finished explaining how you never hear anyone jump up in a restaurant and start singing, a table-full of little kids burst out in song - singing the ABC's!  What timing!  Everyone at the table began laughing at the situation.  I guess it can happen once every fifty years or so...

One place where singing is normal and expected is in a place of worship.  God gave us the gift of music to help us worship Him from our hearts.  In fact, most of the Psalms were meant to be sung as songs of praise to God.  Many of the Psalms begin with the words, "For the director of music" or "A song of..."  It amazes me that some people go to church and refuse to sing.  I am not a good singer, but when everyone sings, you can't hear me anyway.  Singing leads me into a deeper worship to God than I could ever find by listening to someone else sing.  Unlike musicals, singing belongs as an important part of worship.  I challenge you to quit worrying about other people, close your eyes (if you know the words), open your heart to God, and sing to Him this Sunday!

Dead Rabbits On The Deck

Our dog caught a rabbit this past weekend  For most people, that would not be a big deal.  Dogs catch rabbits; that is what they were designed to do.  Well, most dogs are designed to catch rabbits.  I don't count ankle-biting, yipping, fluffy-haired creatures as dogs - no matter what their DNA says they are.  We have a real dog.  He is part border collie, part black lab, and part mutt.  He is a man's dog!

When Fozzie catches a rabbit, it is big news.  My boys are always talking about how fat and lazy he is.   He spends most of his day alternately begging to be petted and sleeping at our feet.  That is pretty much his whole life.  The life of ease he has grown accustomed to has made him soft in his old age.  He is a citified, fat and lazy dog.  At the ripe old age of 10 years and 9 months (75 in dog-years), I assumed his hunting days were over.  

Every now and then, he proves he is still a real dog.  Mr. Youngster looked out the door Saturday afternoon and let out a loud "ewwww, Fozzie caught a rat or something."  I was hoping it wasn't a rat!  I have never seen a rat around our house.  I grabbed a Walmart bag and headed out the door.  I knew I needed to take care of this before the Mrs. got home (she isn't especially fond of dead things).  Fozzie came up on the deck, proudly carrying a dead rabbit in his mouth.  I praised him for his manly hunting abilities and he dropped the rabbit, guts and all, at my feet.  I grabbed the rabbit and bagged it up.  Little Bunny Foo-Foo  is now awaiting burial by Sunshine Sanitation.

A couple of years ago, Fozzie caught a rabbit without anyone realizing it.  He ate the whole thing except for the head.  Assuming we would be very happy and proud of him, he brought the decapitated head up on the deck and dropped it right outside the sliding-glass door.  The Mrs. was totally grossed out when she saw the beady-eyed rabbit head with a cute button nose, floppy little bunny ears - and no body - sitting on our deck.  She refused to touch it and was horrified that Fozzie would do such a thing!  She went downstairs to another door and called Fozzie to her.  While she had him distracted, she convinced Mr. Youngster to put the head in a plastic bag and toss it away.  He was grossed out too!  She called me at work to tell me what a horrible thing Fozzie had done.  I tried to explain that he was just doing what dogs do, but it went in one ear and out the other.

Fozzie did what dogs were designed to do - hunt rabbits.  A dog is never happier than after he has successfully caught an animal he was designed to catch.  Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."  We are just like dogs.  We will never be happier than when we are doing what God has called us to do.  It is a mystery why we argue so long and hard with God when He has given us an assignment!  That assignment is tailor made for us and is designed to draw us closer to Him.  Let's trust God and ask Him to show us what to do today, and actually do it!  Then post a comment here telling us how it worked out.

Beautiful Music? Or Chaos?

Tonight was Mr. Youngster's first marching band performance.  It was amazing how many people came to the stadium to watch the band play!  Some may say they came to watch the football game, but I know better.  A football game is where two teams come together and compete for the victory.  Shortly after the game started, it was evident that there really wasn't any competition.  The local high school football team got trashed!

The band, however, did very well.  Mostly well.  They had one bad moment - which of course was at a very inopportune time.  The band was standing in front of this very large home crowd playing a well known tune called, "The Star-Spangled Banner," when the baritones got lost.  When they got lost, they dragged some of the rest of the band down with them.  You should have seen the band leader!  I think I know why he is losing his hair.  He seemed ready to pull out a few handfuls with that performance!

Other than that little fiasco, the band did very well.  Their half-time show was flawless, as far as I could tell.  Of course, I have the musical talent of a poorly trained mule, so I could have missed a sour note or two.  My lovely wife agreed with me afterward when I said the band was far more entertaining than the football game.  Of course she knows almost as much about football as I know about music!

My son is playing the cymbals in the band this year.  It seems a waste of good drumming talent to me.  I listen to him play the drums in my basement every day and even I can tell he has great talent!  But, I guess someone has to play cymbals and he is enjoying it.  It was really cool to see some of the choreography they use as they play.  I especially liked his little move where he does this neat dancing-spinning thingy while twirling a cymbal above his head. 

The highlight of the evening is when the band heads into the school to put away their instruments and hang up their uniforms.  Well, almost everyone in the band goes in.  The drum line stands outside in a semi-circle and continues to perform for quite a while.  As the drum line performed, several of the high school girls began to dance in the center of the drum line's circle.  I tell you, this group can play!  Even my cowboy boots were tapping to the beat!

As I thought of the one mishap from the band (as compared to the football team's numerous mishaps), I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 15:33, "Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."  I would guess one of the baritones lost his or her place, which caused the other baritones to lose their place, which caused the other band members around them to lose their place.  Instead of the band blending together to make beautiful music, chaos was the result.  Mr. Band Director had to become red-faced, point at those in the wrong, and gesture wildly to get the band back in sync.  When we hang around with people of bad character, our good character doesn't rub off on them; their bad character rubs off on us.  The only thing that changes bad character to good is the Holy Spirit.  We need to show God's love to these people through ministry and sharing the message of Jesus with them.  But  if they refuse to accept it, we can't stay in their world or we could become corrupted. 

When God's people follow the Divine Director, we make beautiful music.  But when we follow anyone else's lead, chaos is the result.

A Fair Amount of Joy

Labor Day was rapidly approaching and we had no family plans for the long weekend.  What could we do?  It seemed like a waste of a three-day weekend to sit around the house and do nothing.  I suggested going to St. Paul for the Minnesota State Fair.  The response I received from the family was tepid at best.  We go to the Fair about once every three or four years.  I think it takes that long for the family to forget how much they dislike it!  Without any good alternatives, they finally relented and decided to go.

My youngest son took a friend with him - I think he thought that would make it bearable.  We arrived at the Fairgrounds at about 11:30 and immediately began the lively discussions of what we were going to do, where we would meet up, and so on.  Thanks to the modern miracle of cell phones, this discussion was less prone to miscommunication and problems than in the past.  We reminded the youngster to listen for his cell phone and off we went.

My wife and I toured the "Miracle of Birth" barn, which showcased the exciting miracle of a sow giving birth to her pigs.  Ho hum - this farm boy has seen that more than he cared to!  Then we crossed the street to the arena where the 4-H kids were proudly showing off their cattle.  My wife enjoyed that part of the Fair because there were shops that circled the arena and she spent a fair amount of time shopping (I will not apologize for the pun).

Next we entered the horse barn, which is always a highlight of the Fair.  I grew up with horses as a normal part of my life.  We used horses to work the cattle on our farm, and Dad showed his horses a fair amount as well.  Dad's horses were his pride and joy!  As we walked through the horse barn, we had an unexpected surprise.  There were 220,000 people at the Fair on Saturday, and we ran into one of my church's members in the horse barn!  No matter how often things like this happen, it still surprises me.

By this time, my phone was ringing and it was the youngest telling us it was time to eat.  He must have been hungry because he settled for a foot-long hot dog, rather than walk around and look at what was available.  My wife and I were more adventurous and opted for some of the more exotic fare - the wild rice cheeseburgers.  They tasted like a regular cheeseburger to me - sigh.

Another 90 minutes of the Fair was all that my wife and son could stand, and so we headed from there to the Shrine to Materialism, otherwise known as the Mall of America.  I stocked up on some high-quality Earl Grey tea, then spent some time shopping.  For those of you who don't know the difference, buying tea is not shopping - I know what I want and I buy it.  Shopping is wandering from store to store looking at things you didn't know you needed and debating whether you should buy it or not.  Shopping with my wife always ends with me sitting in chairs outside the stores in the hallway.  After more exciting fare at Long John Silver's, our exciting trip to the Cities was complete and we headed home.

Too many times we expect our greatest enjoyment will be found in things like the State Fair.  It is pretty amazing that a fifteen year-old boy would get bored at the State Fair!  The problem was not that there was nothing to do, but that he ran out of money because he bought a fair number of Icees (four)!  When we seek our enjoyment from the things of the secular world, we will be disappointed.  1 Thessalonians 3:9 says, "How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?"  Don't let the significance of this verse pass you by!  The apostle Paul found great joy in a close relationship with God - through close relationships with other believers.  These relationships with other believers brought him closer to God and increased his joy.  Let's strengthen our relationships with our Christian brothers and sisters and I know we will find that great joy in the Lord is the result of those relationships!

The Merciful Mechanic

Whoo-Hoo!  I have my car back!  My car exhibited its first symptoms of transmission epilepsy on August 16.  I felt like a 16 year-old this morning as I climbed behind the wheel to go to work!  No more rushing to be at the bus stop by a certain time - twice a day.  No more walking to the bus stop in the rain.  No more complicated scheduling of my wife's minivan and begging for rides.  I, and the whole family, are free again!

There is a good side to this story - Mr. Mechanic, who I referred to in my Aug. 30 post, stood by his work.  I purchased the car from him 25 months ago - after he had rebuilt the transmission.  He gave me a 24 month, 24,000 mile warranty on his work.  The 24 months was past, but I had only driven 17,000 miles.  I was completely at his mercy. 

We had discussed different options for the bill over the phone during the past two weeks.  He started out saying he would certainly cover the cost of the parts, but the labor wouldn't be covered under his warranty.  Then he suggested he would split the labor cost with me.  I told him I would pay whatever he felt was fair.

Maybe he was feeling guilty for the demon-possessed loaner car he gave me (see my Aug. 30 post).  Maybe he felt guilty because I had to wait five days before he could start working on it, or because my car was in his shop for another nine days .  Or maybe he is just customer-focused and felt he should do the right thing.  The total bill from Mr. Mechanic for fixing my car was an absolutely beautiful $0.00!  And, he even delivered my fully-healed car to my house!  Of course, he had to bring a battery with him so he could drive the demon-possessed loaner back to his shop.

I can't be certain of the reason why he was merciful to me; all I know is that Q Transmission treated me more than fairly.  Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast."  Just as I was at the mercy of Q Transmission for the repair bill, I am also fully dependent on the mercy of God for the forgiveness of my sins (as we all are).  It was His great love that sent Jesus to the cross to pay the penalty for our sins.  It is His great love that sends people to us to share the story of His mercy and it is His Spirit that guides us to understand and accept the "gift of God."  Without God's mercy, we would get what we deserve - we would be punished forever for our selfish nature and rebellious acts.  I thank God for His mercy!

Looking Like Dad

I have three sons.  The oldest is in college and is working on his master's degree.  My youngest son is still in High School.  My middle boy is in the Air Force and is stationed in Missouri.  Like all military men, he received a new hair style when he arrived at boot camp last October.  Prior to that, he was a typical young man with fairly long hair and he fought most attempts to get him a haircut.

He now keeps his hair very short, and actually seems to like it better that way!  I know I prefer my hair shorter.  I find it a lot easier to deal with when it is short.  For instance, I haven't carried a comb for many years.  I can wash my hair in the morning, dry it with a towel, run my hands over it to smooth it down, and I am ready to face the world!

Of course, I don't have much choice of hair style; I inherited it from my father.  I know the geneticists insist that you inherit male pattern baldness from your mother, but Dad was losing his hair by the time he was nineteen and so did I.  My hairstyle looks exactly like his.  All my brothers have the same hairstyle too and so did Grandpa.  I blame Dad for my lack of hair.

A few weeks ago my wife, mother-in-law and our two civilian sons took a trip to Branson, Missouri.  Our airman had to work the first day and planned to meet them there after he got off work.  My wife and her carload arrived that afternoon and they stopped at a Walmart to pick up a couple of items while they were waiting on the last Stevens to arrive.  He called her while they were shopping and asked her to pick up a cheap set of hair clippers from Walmart  He needed a haircut and wouldn't have time to get one while in Branson.  So she bought the clippers and went back to the hotel.

He arrived a short time later and asked her to cut his hair in the hotel room.  She pulled out the new clippers and plugged them in.  He sat down, they put a towel around his shoulders to catch the hair, and she commenced to cutting.  Since she was giving him a buzz, she set the clippers to the right length and took a swipe right down the middle of the top of his head.  Then the clippers stopped working.

They pulled the manual out and began reading and discovered that the clippers needed to charge for 16 hours before using them!  He looked at her and said, "I can't go out looking like Dad!"  My wife said she was laughing so hard she could hardly stand up!

They decided he would stay at the hotel a little later the next day and hope the clippers charged enough to finish the haircut.  They didn't, so now he was in a dilemma.  His hair was so butchered up that he didn't want to be seen outside.  He solved the problem by pulling out his razor and shaving his head.

I was walking to a meeting at Mayo early that morning when my cell phone began playing my "Mountain Music" ringtone.  When I answered, the first words I heard were, "Well Dad, for the first time in your life, you have more hair than I do!"  He then went on to tell me what happened. 

Men have a hard time reading the manual for the gadgets we buy.  We prefer to learn by trial and error.  That is the wrong way to live a life, though.  God gave us a manual for our lives called the Holy Bible.  It has all the directions we need to live a full and meaningful life.  Unfortunately, we have a tendency to treat the Bible like any other manual - only reading it when we mess up.  If my wife and son had read the clipper's manual first, there wouldn't have been problems.  If we read the Bible every day, and follow its directions, we will have no self-induced problems.  Yes, I know problems will still come.  But they are problems that God has already prepared solutions for.   When we cause our own problems, they tend to be stickier wickets than we would have liked!  Read your personal manual every day and see if it doesn't help you throughout the day.

Small Town Characters

I was raised on a cattle farm in a very rural part of Missouri.  A lot of people talk about how small their home towns were, but I don't know many people from a smaller community than the one I grew up in.  The nearest town had a population of 104 (1970 census).  I went to school in the county seat, which only had 1090 people.  Both of those numbers are significantly smaller now - the farming economy has been tough on the area.

Small towns have their own unique personalities.  For instance, if you drive through southwest Wisconsin, you will find nearly every little community has some kind of animal statue there.  I don't understand why they have these statues.  They are not real large - maybe between six and ten foot tall.  I guess it is just a part of their personality.

One day some traveling salesmen came into my hometown.  They were looking for a public phone, so the owner of our only store sent them to the city park where there was a phone booth.  This was long before cell phones!  They drove downtown and parked close to the phone booth.  There was a small gas station across the road from the park where the farmers used to congregate and play dominoes.  This story came from the domino-playing farmers that watched the scene unfold.

You could see these salesmen in their suits looking around the town and kind of laughing about the "hick" community they were in.  As they were digging in their pockets for change outside the phone booth, one of the neighborhood characters came by.

We had a young man in town who fancied himself as an inventor.  Larry was always nailing two things together that had never been nailed together before.  His project that summer was a homemade, 2-wheeled pony cart.  It was made by fastening an aluminum lawn chair to two bicycle wheels with a couple of poles sticking out of the front to hook up to his shetland pony.  He liked his cart so well, that he had equipped it with an AM/FM battery-operated radio hooked up to a 9-foot orange fiberglass antenna. The domino guys reported that the city slickers stared in disbelief at the contraption as Larry drove his chariot by the park.  They looked at each other and grinned, then shrugged their shoulders and continued to count their change.

The salesmen found enough change to make their phone call, and one of them entered the phone booth just as Clyde came driving by.  Clyde was a retired lawyer and he still dressed the part.  He loved 3-piece suits and those fancy hats that businessmen from the big cities often wear.  But Clyde had a problem - as he got older, his eyesight got worse.  The DMV took his drivers license away because of his poor eyesight.  So, Clyde drove an old tractor everywhere he went.  You can picture Mr. Douglas from Green Acres driving a tractor down Main St. and you will have an accurate picture of what these salesmen saw that day.  The two salesmen chuckled a little bit and pointed at Clyde after he had passed, then finished their phone call.

Tommy was our local welfare case.  He spent most of his energy avoiding work and trying to determine how to get more money out of the welfare system.  He was friendly, but just not the high-energy type.  At this particular time, he had a scheme of trying to pull a "Cpl. Klinger" by saying he was not all there "upstairs."  He wasn't wearing a dress (this time) like Cpl. Klinger did in MASH, but he came walking down the street wearing insulated coveralls with a winter coat, insulated overboots, and a winter hat with the earflaps pulled down.  The temperature was around 95-degrees that day.

The domino-players reported that these salesmen watched Tommy walk by with astonishment clearly on their faces.  They jumped into their car and their tires were squealing as they flew out of town.  Maybe they had recently read "Deliverance" or something!

I love my home town.  It is a simple life filled with friendly - and interesting - people.  I really don't think the people were all that different in a small town as compared to a larger city, they are just more visible and everyone knows everybody.

Genesis 1:27 tells us, "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."  Larry, Tommy, Clyde, and the salesmen were all created in the image of God.  That tells me that none of them were better than the others; they are just different.  We often judge people, but we shouldn't do that; God is the ultimate Judge.  We should leave the judging business with Him.  We should enjoy the diversity of the people that God brings us into contact with and love each one as He loved us.  How boring would life be if we were all the same?

The Loaner Car

My car is sick. Two weeks ago the "Check Engine" light came on while I was driving to church. The car was running fine and I have had that happen enough to know you can keep going as long as nothing else is amiss. You need to have it checked out soon, though. However, this time the car started shifting weird on the way home. It is now two mechanics and two weeks later and I still don't have my car back. :(

I gave the current mechanic a sob story about why I desperately need a car. Since I pastor a church 14 miles away, and I wouldn't expect my family to get to the church nearly as early as I do, it is a real hardship on the family to have only one vehicle. "No problem," he told me, "I will give you a loaner for the weekend."

Have you ever had a decent loaner car from a mechanic? I haven't had a loaner too often, but I have never had one that made me think, "I need to buy a car just like this one." Why do mechanics have such lousy loaner cars?

My wife took me to pick up my loaner, and it didn't look too bad from a distance. It is a green Taurus - and I like a Taurus, so it shouldn't be a problem - right? Wrong. The mechanic warned me that the "Check Engine" light goes off and on for this car. He said it was an oxygen sensor and I shouldn't worry about it. This car has quite a personality. I don't know what kind of difficult life it has had, but it is an oddball. It isn't that old, but the seats are just rotten. Each of the front seats is split wide open with just a few strands of cloth desperately clinging together like the last few hairs on top of a bald man's head. The roof looks like Edward Scissorhands took a ride in it - it is ripped to shreds with little strips of cloth hanging down. The Munsters had better looking cars than this one!

My first couple of trips were mostly uneventful. The "Check Engine" light came on, as did the "Door Ajar" light. I checked all the doors and decided it was a malfunctioning light. No big deal at all.

This morning I headed for Viola at 7:00, as usual. Shortly after leaving the house, another light came on - the battery light. That made me nervous - a bad alternator can leave you stranded. I made a stop at Kwik Trip to get some donuts for Sunday School and debated on letting the car run or shut it off. I shut it off, and said a prayer. It started right back up when I was ready to go. Whew!

Now I am headed home from church. I get a few blocks from home and am stopped in the middle of the intersection waiting for a left turn. Suddenly my dashboard turns into a Christmas tree! The Anti-Lock brakes, battery, check engine, and door ajar lights are all on. Then the air conditioner controls start flashing off and on with the fan doing the same thing. I think the stupid car is possessed by Satan himself! Luckily I made it home, but Mr. Mechanic is going to come and get it - if he wants it. Maybe he doesn't...

I am sure that once upon a time someone bought this demonic car and it was their pride and joy. Matthew 6:19-21 says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Too many times we get caught up with buying shiny new things and we get all excited about them. We need to remember Jesus' words - these new things will soon become pieces of junk. Instead of fretting over new cars, houses, boats, or whatever else causes your heart to flutter, get excited about spiritual things. The things God cares about last forever, unlike this demonic loaner car.