Small Town Characters

I was raised on a cattle farm in a very rural part of Missouri.  A lot of people talk about how small their home towns were, but I don't know many people from a smaller community than the one I grew up in.  The nearest town had a population of 104 (1970 census).  I went to school in the county seat, which only had 1090 people.  Both of those numbers are significantly smaller now - the farming economy has been tough on the area.

Small towns have their own unique personalities.  For instance, if you drive through southwest Wisconsin, you will find nearly every little community has some kind of animal statue there.  I don't understand why they have these statues.  They are not real large - maybe between six and ten foot tall.  I guess it is just a part of their personality.

One day some traveling salesmen came into my hometown.  They were looking for a public phone, so the owner of our only store sent them to the city park where there was a phone booth.  This was long before cell phones!  They drove downtown and parked close to the phone booth.  There was a small gas station across the road from the park where the farmers used to congregate and play dominoes.  This story came from the domino-playing farmers that watched the scene unfold.

You could see these salesmen in their suits looking around the town and kind of laughing about the "hick" community they were in.  As they were digging in their pockets for change outside the phone booth, one of the neighborhood characters came by.

We had a young man in town who fancied himself as an inventor.  Larry was always nailing two things together that had never been nailed together before.  His project that summer was a homemade, 2-wheeled pony cart.  It was made by fastening an aluminum lawn chair to two bicycle wheels with a couple of poles sticking out of the front to hook up to his shetland pony.  He liked his cart so well, that he had equipped it with an AM/FM battery-operated radio hooked up to a 9-foot orange fiberglass antenna. The domino guys reported that the city slickers stared in disbelief at the contraption as Larry drove his chariot by the park.  They looked at each other and grinned, then shrugged their shoulders and continued to count their change.

The salesmen found enough change to make their phone call, and one of them entered the phone booth just as Clyde came driving by.  Clyde was a retired lawyer and he still dressed the part.  He loved 3-piece suits and those fancy hats that businessmen from the big cities often wear.  But Clyde had a problem - as he got older, his eyesight got worse.  The DMV took his drivers license away because of his poor eyesight.  So, Clyde drove an old tractor everywhere he went.  You can picture Mr. Douglas from Green Acres driving a tractor down Main St. and you will have an accurate picture of what these salesmen saw that day.  The two salesmen chuckled a little bit and pointed at Clyde after he had passed, then finished their phone call.

Tommy was our local welfare case.  He spent most of his energy avoiding work and trying to determine how to get more money out of the welfare system.  He was friendly, but just not the high-energy type.  At this particular time, he had a scheme of trying to pull a "Cpl. Klinger" by saying he was not all there "upstairs."  He wasn't wearing a dress (this time) like Cpl. Klinger did in MASH, but he came walking down the street wearing insulated coveralls with a winter coat, insulated overboots, and a winter hat with the earflaps pulled down.  The temperature was around 95-degrees that day.

The domino-players reported that these salesmen watched Tommy walk by with astonishment clearly on their faces.  They jumped into their car and their tires were squealing as they flew out of town.  Maybe they had recently read "Deliverance" or something!

I love my home town.  It is a simple life filled with friendly - and interesting - people.  I really don't think the people were all that different in a small town as compared to a larger city, they are just more visible and everyone knows everybody.

Genesis 1:27 tells us, "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."  Larry, Tommy, Clyde, and the salesmen were all created in the image of God.  That tells me that none of them were better than the others; they are just different.  We often judge people, but we shouldn't do that; God is the ultimate Judge.  We should leave the judging business with Him.  We should enjoy the diversity of the people that God brings us into contact with and love each one as He loved us.  How boring would life be if we were all the same?

The Loaner Car

My car is sick. Two weeks ago the "Check Engine" light came on while I was driving to church. The car was running fine and I have had that happen enough to know you can keep going as long as nothing else is amiss. You need to have it checked out soon, though. However, this time the car started shifting weird on the way home. It is now two mechanics and two weeks later and I still don't have my car back. :(

I gave the current mechanic a sob story about why I desperately need a car. Since I pastor a church 14 miles away, and I wouldn't expect my family to get to the church nearly as early as I do, it is a real hardship on the family to have only one vehicle. "No problem," he told me, "I will give you a loaner for the weekend."

Have you ever had a decent loaner car from a mechanic? I haven't had a loaner too often, but I have never had one that made me think, "I need to buy a car just like this one." Why do mechanics have such lousy loaner cars?

My wife took me to pick up my loaner, and it didn't look too bad from a distance. It is a green Taurus - and I like a Taurus, so it shouldn't be a problem - right? Wrong. The mechanic warned me that the "Check Engine" light goes off and on for this car. He said it was an oxygen sensor and I shouldn't worry about it. This car has quite a personality. I don't know what kind of difficult life it has had, but it is an oddball. It isn't that old, but the seats are just rotten. Each of the front seats is split wide open with just a few strands of cloth desperately clinging together like the last few hairs on top of a bald man's head. The roof looks like Edward Scissorhands took a ride in it - it is ripped to shreds with little strips of cloth hanging down. The Munsters had better looking cars than this one!

My first couple of trips were mostly uneventful. The "Check Engine" light came on, as did the "Door Ajar" light. I checked all the doors and decided it was a malfunctioning light. No big deal at all.

This morning I headed for Viola at 7:00, as usual. Shortly after leaving the house, another light came on - the battery light. That made me nervous - a bad alternator can leave you stranded. I made a stop at Kwik Trip to get some donuts for Sunday School and debated on letting the car run or shut it off. I shut it off, and said a prayer. It started right back up when I was ready to go. Whew!

Now I am headed home from church. I get a few blocks from home and am stopped in the middle of the intersection waiting for a left turn. Suddenly my dashboard turns into a Christmas tree! The Anti-Lock brakes, battery, check engine, and door ajar lights are all on. Then the air conditioner controls start flashing off and on with the fan doing the same thing. I think the stupid car is possessed by Satan himself! Luckily I made it home, but Mr. Mechanic is going to come and get it - if he wants it. Maybe he doesn't...

I am sure that once upon a time someone bought this demonic car and it was their pride and joy. Matthew 6:19-21 says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Too many times we get caught up with buying shiny new things and we get all excited about them. We need to remember Jesus' words - these new things will soon become pieces of junk. Instead of fretting over new cars, houses, boats, or whatever else causes your heart to flutter, get excited about spiritual things. The things God cares about last forever, unlike this demonic loaner car.

Guitar Fun

My 15 year-old son began hounding me about ten days ago for an electric guitar. It isn't unusual for him to be hounding us to buy him something, but it was different this time.

First, he is a talented musician. He plays the drums for our church praise band - and he can really play! I am constantly amazed at the sounds that come constantly from my basement. He listens to a song a few times, and then he is playing it. He is also learning the piano and bass guitar - all on his own initiative. I wish I had his talent in music, but my ability to play music never developed beyond playing the radio! The fact that he is a talented musician and desired to learn a new instrument gave his request some weight.

Second, he offered to pay for it himself. Wow, he was really serious about this! He hadn't picked out an expensive guitar, just a decent starter. He read the reviews and had the guitar player in the praise band check it out. He had about half the money, but was short the rest. He was going to have to earn it. We agreed to that arrangement.

He spent the night at a friends house last Friday night. So, while he was gone, I purchased the guitar online. We decided to hide it when it arrived and when he had the money, he would immediately get the guitar. The guitar arrived on Wednesday while he was away at band camp, so it was easy to hide without him seeing it.

This kid was a money-making demon this week! He mowed the grass. He begged for odd-jobs around the house that he could get paid for. He sold some video games. He had a shoe box in his bedroom where he kept the money and had a tally sheet showing how much he currently had - and how much he still needed to buy the guitar. Last night, he earned the last four dollars he needed. It was amazing to me how he could earn that much money in just a week! He was focused and motivated!

My wife suggested we have fun giving him the guitar. At about 9:00 last night, I hollered downstairs to him that I had ordered his guitar. I didn't tell him when, just that I had ordered it. About 5 minutes later, I carried the guitar outside and leaned it against the wall right outside the door. Then I rang the doorbell and ran upstairs. I yelled down to him and told him to get the door.

He came back into the house with this very large box, and a very confused look on his face. I asked him if it was something for the church and he replied that the box looked like a guitar box. As we opened the box, he kept muttering that he didn't understand this. He was ecstatic when he pulled away the last bits of packing paper to see the guitar he had been asking for! But he had no idea how Musician's Friend had delivered this guitar within a few minutes after receiving the order. I love playing with his mind like that!

God has promised us blessings when we walk in His ways. In Psalm 119:35, King David asks God to "Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight." Just as my son was delighted to find the guitar after completing the work assignments we had given him, King David found delight in discovering the blessings that come from walking in God's commands. What delights are we missing because we chase after our own desires instead of searching for, and following, God's desires?

Ties and Food

Our first day in Louisville found us eating lunch at that gourmet restaurant near the Convention Center, Taco Bell. I was supposed to be at the SBC Executive Board meeting at 2:00, which was at a hotel near the Convention Center. So naturally I had donned my "best" duds, which was completely appropriate for a place as swanky as Taco Bell.
There is nothing I hate more than the monkey suits that some people insist is the "proper attire" in order to look "professional." I'm sorry, I was raised on a farm. Shirts should not have the top button fastened - it restricts the blood flow to the brain. Dress shoes for men come in only two styles - ugly and uglier. When will wingtips ever go out of fashion? And wearing a suit coat over that stiff dress shirt in Kentucky on a 95-degree day is a sure sign that you know how to stay comfortable!
I almost forgot to mention my favorite part of the suit - the necktie. I hate ties with a passion. Who is the idiot that decided it was cool to wrap a skinny piece of bright-colored cloth around your neck and tie a knot in it up against your jugular? And how is that supposed to improve your IQ? I'm sorry, but sliding a noose around your neck and tightening it is not the sign of a high IQ!
Neckties are always in the way. Have you ever noticed that? It hangs down from your neck and is always where it shouldn't be. Wash your hands in the sink and it gets in the water. Sit down for a meal and its magnetic pull is attracted to your plate. I don't care what you are doing, it is always in the way.
I ordered my exquisite meal, the Burrito Supreme Combo meal - also known as the #1. As I sat down, I was very careful to make sure my noose was not getting into my food. It tried to, but with a little maneuvering I was able to coax it to stay out of my burrito. We said our prayers and began to enjoy (?) our meals.
As we ate, I forgot that tie magnets work two ways. While I ably maneuvered my tie to prevent its magnetism from bringing it into contact with my food, I forgot the other Law of Tie Magnetism. About half-way through my burrito, the tie magnet coaxed a glob of sour cream out of the burrito and smack dab into the middle of my tie. Did I mention that I hate ties?
Growling at the stupid tie, I went into the bathroom to try to clean it off. Using the tricks I learned from wearing "professional" attire for too many years, I used my handkerchief soaked in cold water to extract as much sour cream from the tie as possible. It looked a little better, but will carry the stain to the tie graveyard.
We are often like that tie. We try our best to avoid being stained with sin. But, like a magnet, sin is attracted to us - or vice-versa. Romans 3:25 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." If we compare ourselves to other people, we may think we are pretty good people. But when we compare ourselves to Jesus, we find we are terribly stained. We can try to wash the stain off using good works, but the stain is still there. It is only by the blood of Christ that the stain is forever cleaned off. Do you want to be freed from the stain of sin? Go here to find out how. You can be cleansed and stay clean forever!

Only One Voice, Please!

My family and I went to Louisville, KY this summer for the annual Southern Baptist Convention. I had never been to Louisville, so I took Sammie along with me. Sammie is my GPS, and she is wonderful! She always knows where she is going - unlike me! While I have a pretty good sense of direction, honed by my many years of roaming the backroads of rural Missouri in my youth, I do occasionally get turned around and lose my sense of direction.
Just before going to Louisville, I bought my son a GPS for his car. He has to travel through Chicago to come home and we thought it would help him if he had a GPS to guide him. He brought it with him to Louisville so he could read the book and figure out how it works..
On the first day in Louisville, we had a steady rain coming down. We decided to check out the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, so we told Sammie where we were going and away we went.
As I said, it was raining right down, and I was driving in a strange town. The streets were all crooked, sometimes with 5 streets coming together in an intersection. I was trying to see the road through the rain, watch out for traffic, and keep an eye on Sammie all at the same time. Suddenly, I heard my son's GPS talking from the back seat. Sammie was talking from my dash, and I was unable to get my bearings. Finally, I yelled back to my son to shut his GPS off, because I only needed one voice giving me directions.
It was amazing! With only one voice directing me, we made to the Seminary without any further problems! I think there is a lesson for us here.
We should be listening to just one voice in our lives, the voice of the Holy Spirit. If we follow that voice, we will make it to our destination much easier than if we listen to other voices. While God never promises the journey will be easy, and He warned we will experience trials and tribulations on the journey, He gives us a promise - "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
When we start listening to other voices, we will get off the track, and find ourselves in troubles that God never intended for us to find. We need to listen to one voice, and one voice only - the Holy Spirit. He will keep us on that straight and narrow path that will safely lead us home to heaven. Any trials we encounter while we are on the narrow path are for our own good. All other problems are self-inflicted. Listen to only God's voice; it is the voice of love.

The Power of Positive Thinking

I never did like vaccinations. When I was in elementary school in Missouri, the doctor used to come to the school to do a set of vaccinations. They would line us all up in the hallway and march us by the doctor. As each of us kids came to the doctor, a nurse would swab our arms with alcohol, then the doctor would stab us unmercifully in the arm with a 10-inch needle. At least it seemed that big!
I remember working my way slowly to the end of the line. Most of the kids didn't care. They knew they were getting the shot and so they took their place in line and took it like a man. Not me. I would let kid after kid go ahead of me until I was the last one in line. Then the grand master of punishment would stab me with that maniacal laugh of his. Well, my memory may be playing tricks on me...
When I was in my early 20's, I went to a doctor in Omaha for a checkup. I hadn't been to the doctor for anything since I left for college, so I figured it was time. Most of the checkup went fine and there were no problems. Then came the blood test.
The nurse swabbed my arm with alcohol (ah, the memories...) then poked my vein with a needle. I watched with fascination as she drew a vial of blood out of my arm. She pulled the needle out, placed a cotton ball on the stab location, and told me to hold it there. That's the last thing I remember. When I came to, she began questioning me about family history of epilepsy. Nope - that wasn't the problem. I just hate needles. I'm scared to death of them!
It has happened again a few times - I warn the nurses ahead of time, sometimes they listen, sometimes they don't. I had a foreign-looking doctor in Sioux City that didn't listen. His nurse was very unhappy with him!
A few years back I had another physical exam. My doctor noticed I had an enlarged thyroid, so he sent my to the specialist to get it checked out. He felt my thyroid, talked to me a little, then announced he would do a biopsy. The biopsy would require poking a needle into my neck, into the thyroid, and extracting cells from the enlarged area. Not once, but five times! You can imagine how excited I was to hear this news!
As I sat there waiting for the fun to begin, I remembered a verse - Phil. 4:8 "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - think about such things." When the doctor came back to the room, I closed my eyes, and in my mind began singing songs of praise to God. I focused all my attention on His love for me and I sang. The only thing I could think of that fit Phil. 4:8 completely was God, so I focused all my thoughts on Him. I was shocked in a few minutes to hear the doctor say that it was over. I hadn't even noticed!
God's Word told me about the power of positive thinking, and now I had experienced it. Most people think of positive thinking as convincing yourself that you can do something. I learned that positive thinking is focusing your thoughts on the Lord. There is power in that!

Who Loves Ya?

My wife told me my blogs were too long. She said they are just like my sermons and I need to get to the point quicker. I tried to tell her that you have to develop the point, but maybe she is right. So tonight, I am getting to the point.
There is a song that gets right to the point. It is not a long song, it doesn't have a great musical score, it is just a great song. Here are the words.
Jesus loves me, this I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong.
We are weak, but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
The Bible tells me so.
You may not know anything about Jesus. You may not believe there is a God. Or maybe you do, but you have been caught up doing churchy things. Regardless of where we are today, there is one truth I want you to know. I know it from the depths of my heart. Jesus loves YOU. Isn't that what we are all looking for? A little love? Jesus loves you. Ask Him for yourself.

Living By The Book

I was watching a video on YouTube a while back where a policeman was talking about how he arrests suspects. Of course he needs a reason to initially pull them over in most instances. He noted that he simply follows them for a short while. Then he dropped the bomb - he said it is impossible for anyone to drive for more than a few minutes without breaking some traffic law. He simply has to be patient, and he will have his opportunity.

Wow! I like to think I am a pretty good driver. I haven't had a ticket in over 29 years. The only accidents (since High School) were either caused by someone else or were in extreme weather conditions. We have extreme weather in the North! And yet, I know I don't follow the law 100% of the time. I drive in a way that is very predictable, and normal, but not necessarily by the letter of the law.

Sometimes I drive a little faster than the speed limit. Oh, I keep it in the 5 - 7 mph range, but I do drive over the speed limit at times. I also don't come to a full stop at stop signs every time. I have the American habit of rolling slowly up to the sign, then going. So I know I am guilty of these minor infractions. Based upon my history though, I must be better than average. That must count for something!

BUT if a policeman wanted to give me a ticket, it wouldn't take long before he had the opportunity. And no judge would look at all the times I had driven right and excuse this wrong. I am guilty.

Why do we assume it is different with God? He set up some pretty tough rules to follow. And if we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we break those rules more frequently than we care to imagine.

Some of us try to excuse our sins by saying we were born with a predilection towards certain sins. So, if God made us that way, then He must want us that way - right? The answer is - NO! God did not make us that way. He made Adam and Eve with the ability to choose to follow Him or not. They chose "not." That sinful desire has been passed down from generation to generation ever since. No, God did not make us with a desire to sin - we come by it quite naturally from following the example of our father, Adam.

I hate to tell you this, but it is too late for you to make Adam's other choice - to be fully obedient. The Bible tells us "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Our only hope is to accept the loving sacrifice Jesus paid for our sins and trust Him fully. He gives us His Spirit at that time to transform our sinful nature into righteousness. Our hope doesn't come by "living by the Book." Our hope comes in Jesus and Him alone.

If you haven't already done so, pray now to God and confess your need for His Son's sacrifice. And tell God that you will trust His ways in this life instead of your ways. Ask Him to help you in that transformation process. The Bible calls this being "born again," because our old nature is then put to death on the cross and we receive Jesus' nature by His Spirit. It is the most glorious and exciting decision you will ever make!

Spending Our Time Wisely

September is nearly here, which means summer is nearly over. Our children head back to school soon. Vacations are over. The days are getting shorter. Football season will soon be upon us.
It hardly even felt like summer this year. We experienced record cool temperatures in July this year. SE Minnesota didn't even hit the upper 80-degree temps until early August. Many of the newspaper editorials called this "The Year Without Summer."
But summer really did come, as it does every year. The months of June, July, and August really happened. Time continues to march along, regardless of the temperatures. For me, it seems the summers fly by anymore! When I was a child, summers seemed to last forever. Each day was packed with fishing, fun, horseback riding, and reading in the shade of our walnut tree.
Now, the weeks seem to rapidly fly by. It is the cost of getting older - and the older we get the more we appreciate the time we have. Ecclesiastes 3 begins with, "There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven." Then it continues with a list of activities that there is a time for - activities like a time for birth and a time for death, a time to plant and a time to harvest.
Time is the most valuable commodity we have. We can always replace anything else we lose. But time cannot be replaced. It continues to march on, despite our best efforts to control it. Some people talk about saving time, but it can't really be saved. If you save money, you can spend it later. You can't save time and use it up later. Each second is here and then gone in a heartbeat.
What we can do is use our time wisely. God has a plan for our lives, and that plan is described as an "abundant life." The best way to use our time wisely is to use it in the way God intended for us to use it. We need to set aside time for direct communication to God every day. We need to spend time in prayer and Bible study to strengthen our relationship with Him and allow Him to prepare us for the next 24 hrs. We need to "pray continuously" throughout the day, following the advice of Jesus in Matthew 6:33 to, "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness." Many will say that impractical, that we need to earn money to live on and we need time to take care of personal business. But this verse ends with a promise, "and all these things will be provided for you."
If we constantly seek God's kingdom first and His righteousness, the promise is that God will provide for all our needs. We often lose God's best for us because we try to take control and spend our time "providing and getting," using our own brains and our own muscle. Then, because we are fallible humans, we fail miserably and wind up with sufferings God never intended for us.
God's ways are best. He is omniscient; He knows all things. Let's spend our time wisely and seek first God's kingdom and His righteousness, and I believe we will find that we will gain blessings in our lives that far outweigh our feeble efforts at providing for ourselves!