Memories of My Aunt

I was raised on a farm in northwest Missouri. My aunt and uncle lived about a mile west of our house. I spent a lot of time at their house as a kid! But this past Monday was my aunt's funeral and I was asked to do her funeral. It was a sad day, but it was a great day. It was great because of the many fond memories I have for my aunt. She was a good woman and a godly woman. Here is one of the stories I related from my memory.
This story took place 30-some years ago, shortly after me and the Mrs. were married. We went back to Missouri to visit our family and attended the church where I went as a child. My aunt attended the same church. After the service, the ladies gathered at the front of the church to discuss the upcoming Vacation Bible School (VBS). As usual, the Mrs. and I hung around talking to some friends and I picked up bits and pieces from the ladies' meeting at the same time.
One of the women suggested that they should serve healthy snacks for VBS. Her reasoning was that the kids eat too many sweets anyway. And they could still serve snacks that the kids would like. She suggested some foods like carrot sticks, celery with peanut butter, and various kinds of fruit were things the kids would like. I thought to myself that this was a good idea. If I had been in the meeting, I would likely have voted for this idea.
But then my aunt spoke up. She said, "I am baking cookies. Kids need cookies at Vacation Bible School!" And I thought to myself, "She is right!" My aunt knew what kids wanted and she wanted them to want to come to VBS. Cookies would make it more enjoyable for the kids and happy kids would make for a great VBS!
We live in a "me-first" culture. I read a book once that said that everyone listens to the same radio station: WII-FM, which stands for "What's In It For Me!" We want and expect the best service when we are out and about. We want to be pampered and treated as if we were the most important people in the room.
But Jesus had another plan. Jesus told His disciples in Mark 9 that, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be last of all and servant of all." My aunt understood this very well and lived it. My cousin shared at the funeral that she was a "do for others woman." That says it very well. And now she is in heaven with her Lord and Savior and she gets to serve Him! She may even be baking Jesus some cookies!
How would your world improve if you decided to "be last of all and servant of all?" Let's focus today on being a "do for others person!"

Mean Older Brothers

I was raised on a farm in northwest Missouri. My older brother and I carry a few scars from horsing around the farm - and I don't mean riding horses! I don't know when it started, but it seems like that kid was beating me up from the day I was born.

Being two years older than me, and since I was tall and skinny, he had the upper hand most of the time. Occasionally I would win a battle, but usually I lost the battle and the war. 

I remember one time we were playing in the back yard. He was being bossy and whatever game we were playing involved a broken hoe handle. As he came running towards me, I threw that hoe handle like a spear and it hit him just above his eye. He was bleeding like crazy, so I ran and hid, hoping that Mom wouldn't kill me. Eventually she found me and we all piled in the car and headed for the doctor so he could get stitches. Mom later talked about how frantic she was to find me so she could get him to the doctor. And at the time, I was just worried that I would be unable to sit for a week!

As we grew older, I grew a little wiser. I figured out a trick that delayed the pain when Mr. Brother got angry. I would start running from him and he would chase me. He was faster than me and I knew it! So just as he was close enough to grab me, I would fall down and he would trip over me and I would jump up and run in the opposite direction. That would work for a little while, but eventually I paid the price for making Mr. Brother angry!

One of the things he did to me that made me the angriest happened when we were both teenagers. We had an electric fence south of the house and I needed to climb over it. So I yelled at Mr. Brother to shut the fencer off so I could climb over. He shut it off and I grabbed the wire and swung a leg over. As soon as I was astraddle of it, Mr MEAN Brother turned the fencer back on. There I was, holding that hot wire in my hands and no good way to get off it in a hurry! Mr. Brother was laughing his head off. He thought it was a great trick! I didn't think so...

Older brothers can be mean. I know that...because I had a younger brother too! So what I received from Mr. Brother, I gave back to Mr. Brat! Of course, Mr. Brat had no one to pass the pain on to.

People sometimes do mean things to us. Sometimes it is intentional, but I believe most of the time it is not. And still, it hurts. How do we handle these painful situations? Jesus gives us the answer - and it is a difficult one to swallow!

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gave this advice: "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you..."

What? Love your enemies? Bless those who curse you? Do good to those who hate you? Pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you? It sounds impossible, doesn't it? And it would be, if we had to do it by our own power. But we don't.

When we accept Jesus as our Savior, He sends us a Counselor to live within us and help us. A human counselor listens to your problems and tells you what to do to fix the situation you are in. Our Counselor is God's Spirit and He has all wisdom! When we are on the receiving end of meanness, the Counselor tells us to love Mr. Meanie! And as we do something loving for that person, we find our anger disappearing and, if they have a heart at all, the Meanie will feel convicted of being so mean towards you. It might take many loving actions before you melt that hard heart, but in the end you are a better person and so are they!

Love your enemies! What great advice!

A Trip To Pain, Discomfort, and Anxiety

I had to go to the dentist on Tuesday. No, there was nothing wrong with my teeth; it was just time for my regularly scheduled cleaning. I don't like going to the dentist. And I know am not alone in that aversion!
My dentist has changed their routine lately. The first thing my dental hygienist now does is take my blood pressure. This is something new for me. Until my last couple of visits, I have never had a dentist office take my blood pressure before. Maybe they are trying to gauge how far the blood will spurt when they prick my gums!
My blood pressure was a little high this time. Just like it was last time. And just like it was the time before that. I do watch my blood pressure because Dad has high blood pressure and has since he was in his early thirties. So I take my blood pressure fairly regularly at the machines around the Mayo campus. It is always just a little bit higher than normal, but not enough to worry about. Except when I am at the dentist.
My dental hygienist acknowledged my blood pressure was a little high. I told her I expected that because I hate going to the dentist! "Nothing personal," I told her, "I hate all dentists!"
I don't know of anything else that I do regularly that intentionally causes discomfort, pain, and anxiety. I tend to avoid things that do that to me! And yet, multiple times a year I find myself walking back into the dentist office for another round of pain, discomfort, and anxiety.
Why would I do this thing that I hate so much? Because I know that it is good for me in the long run. My family has a long history of bad teeth. It is a curse of my family. I hope my sons inherited their teeth genes from my wife instead of me! I am pretty sure that I will need false teeth someday, since that accessory has run in my family (both sides) for generations. But by going to the dentist now, I can delay that inevitability as long as possible.
The same can be said for our spiritual life. If we neglect our spiritual needs (and everybody has them), we will not be prepared for the inevitable difficulties that life presents to us. When the storms come, we will either stand up against them, or our destruction will be great. The Bible compares our lives to a house (Luke 6:48-49). We can lay our foundation on the rock (Jesus) which cannot be shaken. Or we can lay our foundation in sand (worldly desires) which will easily shift when the river rises.
Let's build the foundation of our life on Jesus! Devote a portion of every day to a quiet time alone with Him. Read your Bible during that time. Pray during that time. Read a devotional during that time. Reflect on what the day may bring and pray for wisdom and strength in every circumstance that comes up. Put on the "armor of God" (Eph. 6:10-18). When we invest that time, we are laying a firm foundation that cannot be destroyed no matter what life throws our way! "Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve...as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. (Joshua 24:15)"

Bad Drivers

A friend from a former church once complained to me about bad drivers. He said that when you went to get your driver's license renewed, they should issue you a dart gun with five darts. Each dart had a little flag on one end that simply said "idiot." Whenever you saw someone doing something stupid, you could shoot their car with the dart gun so the "idiot flag" was clearly visible. Whenever the police saw a car with three "idiot flags,"they would pull the person over and give them a ticket for bad driving!
I know how he felt! I have seen some of the crazy things people do when they get behind the wheel!
Just this past week I was coming home from church on Viola Road. I looked in my rearview mirror to see this driver pass a car that was a ways behind me. And Mr. Bad Driver was in a big hurry! He was catching up to me quickly.
There was a pickup in front of me - driving at a reasonable rate of speed. So I was content to stay behind Mr. Pickup. But not Mr. Bad Driver! As we were going up a hill, he pulled out to pass me! And, we were in a no-passing zone! I just shook my head in wonder as he went around me!
But then I was astounded when he stayed in the left lane to pass Mr. Pickup too! Just before we reached the top of the hill, another car popped over the hill towards us! Mr. Bad Driver had no place to go! Fortunately, Mr. Pickup swerved onto the shoulder and I hit my brakes hard, expecting something terrible was about to happen. Mr. Bad Driver quickly pulled into the lane the pickup had vacated and just missed a head-on collision!
I wondered why anyone would be in such a hurry to pull such a stupid stunt as that! His bad driving could have easily impacted many lives in the four cars that were there - which included mine! Why would anyone be in such a hurry to risk the lives of people in four different vehicles? It makes absolutely no sense!
But then...don't we do stupid things? I know I have caught myself making a mistake in my driving that I would describe as idiotic driving! And I am sure you have too! We all make stupid driving decisions at some time or another. And some of our blunders are costly.
The rules of the road were not designed to prevent us from enjoying driving. They were designed for the safety of the drivers on the road. We know that. But sometimes we get in a hurry, like Mr. Bad Driver, and we find ourselves in serious danger.
God's rules of life were not designed to prevent us from enjoying life. They were designed for our safety and the safety of others. Many of life's problems and much of life's pains could be avoided by "loving God with all our hearts, with all our soul, and with all our mind and loving our neighbor as ourselves" (Matthew 22:37-39).
Just consider for a minute the consequences of how we live. Every conversation today will impact our relationships tomorrow. Every action today will reflect on our character tomorrow. Every selfish attitude today will damage our relationship with God immediately.
You see, living by the rules makes a difference! The Psalmist knew this when he wrote, "I have your decrees as a heritage forever, indeed, they are the joy of my heart. I am resolved to obey your statutes to the very end" (Psalm 119:111-112). Living by the rules brings joy, not misery!

Celebrating Birthdays

I am only one day older than my lovely bride! That proximity has its advantages. It is hard to forget her birthday when I celebrate mine the day before! Plus, my birthday experience can weigh in on hers. Let me give an example.
I remember well the year I turned 40. No one at work knew I was turning 40 and I wanted to keep it that way. I wanted a simple, and quiet, birthday. So I told my lovely spouse not to do anything to draw attention to my birthday. No balloons. No fanfare. No nothing. I even warned her that if she did do something, I would get even immediately. She nodded and I was glad she understood.
My birthday arrived and I went to work. Everything was quiet, just the way I wanted it. I went to lunch with a friend, and was shocked to see black balloons in my office when I returned! Only one person knew it was my birthday, and that was the conniving woman I am married to!
I called her on the phone and voiced my displeasure with her handiwork. I warned her that I would get even. After all, her birthday was the next day.
"What can you do to me?", she asked. "I don't work outside the home", she gloated. I told her I would get even and hung up the phone.
Immediately I began calling people. I called our pastor. I called some church friends. I called some neighbors. I called some of her PTA friends. I invited them to a birthday party for the Mrs. and told them the birthday party was the next morning a 8 AM. Then I called the school and informed them that I would be taking my boys out of school for a short while the next morning. I informed my boss that I would be late coming to work the next day. The stage was set...
You see, that lovely lady that I adore is not like me at all. I get up early and hit the ground running each morning. The Mrs. never sees the sunrise! Especially late in May! She prefers to stay up late and sleep in. So she does. In those days, she would get up and get the boys ready for school, get them out the door, then she would go back to bed! She was going to get a nice surprise for her birthday!
I got up and got ready for work the next day, like always. But instead of going to work, I went to the store and bought lots of fresh donuts. I stopped at the school on the way home and picked up the boys. We snuck into the back yard and decorated the picnic table with the same black balloons she gave me. Then we went back around to the front porch. People started gathering at the front door...LOTS of people!
The time was perfect. I knew she was back in bed. And I rang the doorbell... No way would she have time to put on makeup, or get dressed beyond throwing on a robe! And she had to answer the door! I listened as she made her way down the stairs. I persistently continued to ring the doorbell. Finally she opened the door and saw the crowd!
I led her around to the back yard and we had a thoroughly enjoyable time singing the birthday song and eating donuts. All the while, I just smiled at her and told her "I warned you!" It was a great birthday!
Our culture tends towards "getting even." When I "got even" with my bride, it was all in fun. But in this culture, it is seldom for fun. In fact, getting even usually means "getting even...and then some!"
But Jesus challenges us in Matthew 5:44 to "love your enemies" and "pray for those who persecute you." This is not easy, and in fact it is nearly impossible without Jesus' help! But with God, all things are possible, so we can love our enemies instead of getting even. Max Lucado points out in "Just Like Jesus" that "the burden of bridge-building falls on the strong one, not on the weak one. The one who is innocent is the one who makes the gesture." Instead of getting even, let's be bridge-builders!

Traffic Jams

I hate traffic jams. Every time I have to drive in a big city I remember why I live in Rochester! I can get home from downtown in 10 minutes. There are times in Minneapolis that you can't go 2 miles in 10 minutes!

Last weekend, Mr. Friend and Youngster went with me to Cleveland to watch the Twins play. We left at 6 AM on Thursday which had us driving through Chicago during the noon hour. Mr. Friend drives through Chicago far more than I do, so I asked him which way he would recommend. Since it wasn't rush hour, he thought it would be OK to stay on I-90 through Chicago. We sailed right through town! There were only a couple of times that my speed dropped below 45 mph. I was shocked! I don't think I ever got through Chicago as quickly as we did that day.

We arrived in Cleveland, checked into our hotel, then headed out for some supper. Since Red Robin is the Youngster's favorite restaurant, and there was one really close to the hotel, that was chosen as our destination. Youngster loves their hamburgers! Actually, he loves a particular hamburger. He ALWAYS orders the same one. He mentioned at supper that he is afraid to try any other burger because he loves that one and if he doesn't like a different one as well he will feel as if he wasted the trip. That makes sense...

The next day was a fun day! We toured the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton. Then headed for downtown Cleveland to watch the Twins play the Indians. It was a great game - the Twins won 1-0!

The next morning we headed back for Rochester. We left the hotel at 7:30 AM which got us into Chicago...during the noon hour. I had no qualms now about Chicago. Surely the traffic on Saturday would be better than the traffic on Thursday was! We entered Chicago and we were making great time...for a few miles. Then we hit a slowdown in the traffic. Actually it was a complete stop.

For the next two hours, we drove across Chicago. 

We stopped.

We drove slowly. 

We stopped. 

We tried different lanes. It didn't help. 

For some unknown reason, the traffic was horrible - worse than any Chicago traffic I had encountered before. I kept expecting to see an accident up ahead, or maybe some road construction. But no, the only reason for the slow traffic was a tremendous number of vehicles on I-90. By the time I finally reached the western side of Chicago and the traffic picked up to a normal pace, I had sworn I would never drive through Chicago again! Chances are I will have to eat those words someday!

Sometimes life is like Chicago traffic. Sometimes life is easy and your sailing along and enjoying the ride. But sometimes life is not so easy. Sometimes things get in your way and you feel like it is a struggle to make any headway at all.

It is tempting to fall into "pity" mode when we are in the midst of life's struggles. It is tempting to quit reading your Bible. It is tempting to stop praying. After all, you haven't heard anything from God for a while. That is a major part of the struggle. But it is during those times that we must spend even more time in the Bible and even more time in prayer! God has promised to never leave us nor forsake us. That means that He is there, even though we may not sense it. As Henry Blackaby has said, don't interpret the Scriptures by your experiences; interpret your experiences by Scripture! We need to believe God's Word that He hears our prayers, even when we don't sense it. We need to believe that all things work to the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.

In reality, our slowdown through Chicago was not that bad. We still made it home in good time.

And in reality, our difficult days will pass, easier days will return, and our faith in the Lord will be even greater! God is always faithful to keep His promises! 

Disaster Relief In Louisiana

I first became aware of disaster relief shortly after we moved to Minnesota. We became aware that Minnesota-Wisconsin Baptists had several teams, but the most visible one was the feeding unit. This unit was a mobile kitchen that could be used to prepare the food that would be handed out by the Red Cross during a major disaster.
The team who manned the feeding unit were activated during the flooding at Rushford. The kitchen was set up in Winona and then various groups distributed the food to those impacted by the flooding. The team also flew to New York City and helped feed the responders at Ground Zero after 9-11.
I was attracted to the idea of serving on a disaster relief team, but I didn't have enough vacation time saved up to be able to take the time to go. So for years I never took the first step of taking the basic training that would prepare me to serve. But then I had no excuses when our disaster relief leader offered to do the basic training in the church that I served as pastor. So I took that class and filled out all the paperwork and received the recommendations that laid the groundwork for me to serve in disaster relief.
When the flooding hit Louisiana last year, it caught my attention. It was hard to imagine the amount of rain they received in a short time - 2 feet of rain in 2 days! The papers said it was a 1,000 year rainstorm! I followed the news over the coming weeks. Then the announcement came that Minnesota-Wisconsin might get called to go and help the victims.
I contacted our disaster relief leader and discovered that I could go and receive the rest of the training that I needed at the site. I had plenty of vacation time saved up, so I was fresh out of excuses! I checked with my boss at work and she gave me the green light to go. The next week I was driving my little Subaru to Louisiana!
I would be working on the shower and laundry unit, and the other two team members were waiting to train me on that work at the church where we stayed. My work was different than a lot of disaster relief jobs because I was not serving those who were flooded, I was serving the ones who were serving those who were flooded! In other words, I was support for the ones doing the dirty work. And it was dirty work! It is difficult to imagine what it would be like to dig mud out of someone's house, tear the drywall out, and then spray the studs to prevent any black mold from growing. These men and women came in filthy every night!
My team had several jobs. We cleaned the showers in the morning as soon as everyone left for work. We cleaned the bathrooms in the church. We swept the floors in the dining area and the hallways of the church. We helped the kitchen crew as needed when they were preparing the food for the relief workers. And we did laundry.
I never realized how much our work meant to those working to help the flood victims until I heard the stories of some who had been involved in the early days of disaster relief work. There were no mobile shower units at that time. So people got as clean as they could in the bathroom sink and slept in the gunk they had worked in all day. They had no mobile laundry units, so they wore those same clothes multiple days as they cleaned mud out of the homes. Those folks appreciated the work my team was doing!
While I was not directly involved in the relief efforts, I did get a chance to drive around and see the damage. We drove through one neighborhood where houses were still standing in 3-4 feet of water - a full month after the 1,000 year rain fell!
Every night the teams would tell stories of the work they had been involved in. I remember one couple who had recently retired. In order to reduce their expenses, and since their house had never come close to flooding in thirty years, they canceled their flood insurance. Just a few months later came the 1,000 year rain. It is hard to imagine their pain in that situation.
As we gear up to start a new church along Highway 14 east of Rochester, God led me to focus our efforts in two areas - loving God with all our heart, all our soul, all our mind, and all our strength, and to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:30-31). Disaster relief is an area where we can love our neighbors as ourselves! With all the many options available in disaster relief, anyone can serve.
The men I met in Louisiana went on disaster trips nearly every year. Every time they heard of a disaster, they could not stay away! I know I will be going again...

Ice Cream For The Soul

I like ice cream. I love it homemade. I don't recall ever having bad homemade ice cream. I have many fond memories of sitting on the back porch while Dad cranked the ice cream freezer. It seemed to me that he turned that crank for hours before it was finally ready! Anticipation can really slow down time...the wait was always worth it though. That first bite of homemade ice cream is one of life's greatest pleasures!
We have a burger joint close to our home that serves frozen custard. I had never had frozen custard before moving to Rochester. I assume there is a difference in the recipe between frozen custard and ice cream, but I am not sure what it is. All I know is that their frozen custard is excellent! And, they have the wisdom to advertise the "Flavor of the Day" on their outdoor sign where we read it every time we come home.
We have an ice cream shop that is part of a national chain close by as well. You pick the flavor of ice cream and the goodies you want to mix into it and they put it together while you watch. It is a favorite place for the family to go!
We have another ice cream shop that is owned by another national chain close by that is one of the most recognized brands in America. You probably already know who it is! I am doubly blessed because they have ice cream within walking distance of my office too! I can have great ice cream at home and at work! What a deal!
We have a locally owned ice cream shop nearby that has a funny name and top-notch ice cream. They make their own ice cream and it is a great place to go on hot days...and days that are not hot!
I have never had a bad bowl of ice cream. I remember a little ditty that went something like this: "Everyone loves ice cream, yes indeed they do! Everyone loves ice cream, I do - do you?" Have you ever known someone who doesn't like ice cream?
Music is like ice cream for the soul. I have never met someone who dislikes music. We all like different "flavors" of music - some like it loud, others soft. Some like it fast, others slow. Some like the words, others the tune. We may like different kinds of music, but we all like it! I personally like both kinds of music - country AND western!
A while back my family attended a Christian conference and the music leader made a comment that "There is no bad music; there is only broken music. It may be broken because of bad lyrics, but all it takes to turn the music good is to change the lyrics." Then he proceeded to take some popular songs with questionable lyrics and rewrote the lyrics to glorify God instead! He was an amazing musician!
1 Chronicles 13:7 tells us that "David and all Israel played music before God with all their might, with singing, on harps, on stringed instruments, on tambourines, on cymbals, and with trumpets." Clearly they were in full worship mode that day! Music is truly a gift of God that we can use as praise to Him and which He can use to speak to our souls.
It is a shame that so many churches argue over the "appropriate" style of music to be used in worship. Remember, there is no bad music! While we all have our favorite flavors, it would be a sin to force someone who prefers a different flavor to always listen to OUR favorite flavor! God created mankind with great diversity and I am convinced He loves any song that praises Him as long as it comes from the heart! Let's remember that the next time the music is not our "favorite flavor." Sometimes the "Flavor of the Day" surprises us and we find ourselves worshiping in a new way!

Difficult Decisions

Sometimes it seems you are in a no-win situation. No matter what choice you pick, it has consequences, and not necessarily fun consequences. I recently went through one of these difficult decisions.
Decades ago I left the college where I began my computer science degree to attend a computer programming technical school in Omaha. I had a decision to make at that time that wasn't easy. The computer science program at college was focused on scientific programming but that was a very small percentage of the computer programming job market. Plus I had financial considerations. So I left the college and turned my focus to business programming, which dominated the job market. I never finished my degree.
I worked on the degree a little more, taking night school off and on, but still never finished the degree. Last fall I discovered a college that would accept most of my college credits, I could earn some credits for the 37 years in my career, and would switch my focus from programming to my ministry. So I enrolled.
I thought I had considered everything and that I could handle the load. After all, I have been bi-vocational for most of the last twenty years. And I read a ton of books every year. If I would put my outside reading aside I assumed I would have time for the college class on top of my job and my ministry.
I was wrong. The college class ate up a lot of my time. My ministry of starting a new church began to suffer. I looked at how I was spending my time. I modified my time management process to help - and it did - a little. I tried to find some help for my ministry that would help take some load off, but no help arrived. After getting half-way through the class I had to make a hard decision - keep going and let the ministry suffer, or quit the class and get back on track.
A lot of thoughts ran through my mind as I debated. I looked to my professor for some advice. I talked to a friend who works at the college for his advice. I prayed with my prayer partner. It came down to my priorities. My number one priority has to be my job. My number two priority has to be the ministry. Then there is family and school. I decided the school had to be stopped at this time. So I called the school and emailed my professor with the decision.
This is the process we must use to make hard decisions like this one. What are our priorities? Who can I seek advice from? What options exist? And, I believe the most important, prayer. When it all came together, there really was only one option - focus on the ministry and put the degree on hold again.
These decisions are never easy. And they have consequences that are difficult to accept. But decisions have to be made. And the above process is the best process I have found. Just don't forget to pray! God alone knows what you are supposed to do. He will make it obvious to you.