I remember well the year I turned 40. No one at work knew I was turning 40 and I wanted to keep it that way. I wanted a simple, and quiet, birthday. So I told my lovely spouse not to do anything to draw attention to my birthday. No balloons. No fanfare. No nothing. I even warned her that if she did do something, I would get even immediately. She nodded and I was glad she understood.
My birthday arrived and I went to work. Everything was quiet, just the way I wanted it. I went to lunch with a friend, and was shocked to see black balloons in my office when I returned! Only one person knew it was my birthday, and that was the conniving woman I am married to!
I called her on the phone and voiced my displeasure with her handiwork. I warned her that I would get even. After all, her birthday was the next day.
"What can you do to me?", she asked. "I don't work outside the home", she gloated. I told her I would get even and hung up the phone.
Immediately I began calling people. I called our pastor. I called some church friends. I called some neighbors. I called some of her PTA friends. I invited them to a birthday party for the Mrs. and told them the birthday party was the next morning a 8 AM. Then I called the school and informed them that I would be taking my boys out of school for a short while the next morning. I informed my boss that I would be late coming to work the next day. The stage was set...
You see, that lovely lady that I adore is not like me at all. I get up early and hit the ground running each morning. The Mrs. never sees the sunrise! Especially late in May! She prefers to stay up late and sleep in. So she does. In those days, she would get up and get the boys ready for school, get them out the door, then she would go back to bed! She was going to get a nice surprise for her birthday!
I got up and got ready for work the next day, like always. But instead of going to work, I went to the store and bought lots of fresh donuts. I stopped at the school on the way home and picked up the boys. We snuck into the back yard and decorated the picnic table with the same black balloons she gave me. Then we went back around to the front porch. People started gathering at the front door...LOTS of people!
The time was perfect. I knew she was back in bed. And I rang the doorbell... No way would she have time to put on makeup, or get dressed beyond throwing on a robe! And she had to answer the door! I listened as she made her way down the stairs. I persistently continued to ring the doorbell. Finally she opened the door and saw the crowd!
I led her around to the back yard and we had a thoroughly enjoyable time singing the birthday song and eating donuts. All the while, I just smiled at her and told her "I warned you!" It was a great birthday!
Our culture tends towards "getting even." When I "got even" with my bride, it was all in fun. But in this culture, it is seldom for fun. In fact, getting even usually means "getting even...and then some!"
But Jesus challenges us in Matthew 5:44 to "love your enemies" and "pray for those who persecute you." This is not easy, and in fact it is nearly impossible without Jesus' help! But with God, all things are possible, so we can love our enemies instead of getting even. Max Lucado points out in "Just Like Jesus" that "the burden of bridge-building falls on the strong one, not on the weak one. The one who is innocent is the one who makes the gesture." Instead of getting even, let's be bridge-builders!
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