Painful Musicals

I hate musicals.  I have nothing against music, although I am not musically inclined.  In fact, I love to listen to music.  I listen to it in the car.  I listen to it in the bathtub.  I even like to listen to music while I work.  But there are some places where music doesn't have a place - which (in my opinion) includes 95% of all musicals.

So where does music belong in a movie?  When the movie is about a musician!  For instance, I loved "The Competition," a movie about a piano-playing competition, with the winner getting a contract to play in a symphony.  I enjoyed the Neil Diamond movie, "The Jazz Singer" (although I wish the main character hadn't divorced his wife and committed adultery).  And "Mr. Holland's Opus" was a fantastic show.  Even though I was never in the band in High School, I could relate to the kids struggling with life and finding solutions to their problems through their music.  In these movies, the music is intertwined with the story line in a way that makes sense.  I think very few people would disagree with me.

Unfortunately, most of the other musicals are not like that.  You may disagree with me, and that is OK.  I think musicals are totally unrealistic.  I went to "Grease" with my best friend in college a few years back (OK more than a few years back) and it is the only movie I walked out of.  It took us less than ten minutes to decide that movie was stupid beyond belief.  Picture yourself eating in a high school cafeteria.  Have you ever seen the whole student body suddenly jump up and start singing and dancing?  Some of them even jumped on the tables and were dancing on the tables!  It is totally unrealistic!

I went to "Mama Mia!" with the Mrs. last year.  She had just finished leading our church Vacation Bible School and deserved some time off, so I told her I would go to any movie she wanted.  I didn't know what I was getting myself into!  That movie has to rate as one of the worst movies of all time!  I couldn't believe how long it was; I could have sworn we were there for four or five hours.  It was painful to sit through that movie.  I heard a comedian talking about putting his arm around his girlfriend's shoulder as the movie started, then chewing his arm off to get out of there!  I sat in the theater and watched some people laughing and wondered what they were laughing at.  As we walked out of that miserable production, the Mrs. made the comment, "I bet they had fun shooting that film."  I told her I would like to have shot it; it needed to be put out of its misery!

A while back I was sharing these thoughts with some friends at Culver's.  Unfortunately, they both like musicals and so I had very little support - although Bob thought "Mama Mia!" was terrible too.  Just as I finished explaining how you never hear anyone jump up in a restaurant and start singing, a table-full of little kids burst out in song - singing the ABC's!  What timing!  Everyone at the table began laughing at the situation.  I guess it can happen once every fifty years or so...

One place where singing is normal and expected is in a place of worship.  God gave us the gift of music to help us worship Him from our hearts.  In fact, most of the Psalms were meant to be sung as songs of praise to God.  Many of the Psalms begin with the words, "For the director of music" or "A song of..."  It amazes me that some people go to church and refuse to sing.  I am not a good singer, but when everyone sings, you can't hear me anyway.  Singing leads me into a deeper worship to God than I could ever find by listening to someone else sing.  Unlike musicals, singing belongs as an important part of worship.  I challenge you to quit worrying about other people, close your eyes (if you know the words), open your heart to God, and sing to Him this Sunday!